why is he like this? i really need advice?
Posted by adminSep 30
ok so here is the story im 19 and he is 23 i dated this guy off and on for 3 yrs well my parents got divorced after 20 yrs together really messed me up so i moved with my mom to another state and me and this guy broke up well while i was up their i got pregnant me and my childs father dated for a yr
my dad got sick so i recently moved back to help me dad my daughter is 9 mths and i got back with the guy from highschool which was a mistake he has cheated on me in the past i shouldnt have taken him back he got a dui let him move in with me we argued all the time so i kicked him out well recently i started talking to his best friend i have known this guy for a long long time we hung out ever day for a month then we had sex the condom broke and i got pregnant i told him that i am he said we will take it one day at a time and abortion is not a option but lately he only calls when he is horny or to ask how im feeling i dunno i really wanted to be with this guy i really feel i love him but i dont want to tell him and give him that type of power cause when we were hanging out every day i used to tell him dont fall in love with me and he would say the same thing he is not talking to anyone either i just dont know please help im going through enough i really dont want any negative responses
yeah your prolly right when i was younger i got raped and have always had to be in a realationship with a guy and when i finally turned 17 i got breast implants and everyone tells me im beautiful but i guess i just dont see it and i prolly did make a mistake telling him not to love me in a joking matter and he has told me the same thing but he just seemed like a very good guy and acted as if he really cared about me and i liked it and he only has had like 4 realationships his whole 23 yrs of life infact i think he has only slept with like 9 girls and i know this cause i dated his friend but who knows he could be talking to someone else im just so upset and confused and now just wandering why i did this to my self
yeah your prolly right when i was younger i got raped and have always had to be in a realationship with a guy and when i finally turned 17 i got breast implants and everyone tells me im beautiful but i guess i just dont see it and i prolly did make a mistake telling him not to love me in a joking matter and he has told me the same thing but he just seemed like a very good guy and acted as if he really cared about me and i liked it and he only has had like 4 realationships his whole 23 yrs of life infact i think he has only slept with like 9 girls and i know this cause i dated his friend but who knows he could be talking to someone else im just so upset and confused and now just wandering why i did this to my self
2 comments
Comment by ld12o1 on 09/30/2011 at 6:44 pm
Not trying to be mean or anything, but you seem very dependent on men. I don’t mean financially or anything, i mean you really seem to NEED to be romantically linked to a man. I don’t know you, I could be wrong, its just what I get from your information. You’ve always seemed to settle for your men, taking whoever keeps you intrigued for the time and not staying single until you’ve found the right one…just caught in the vicious circle of guys bad for you.
This guy your with now doesn’t really surprise me. He’s treating you like his baby’s mama, nothing more, nothing less. The biggest mistake you made was telling him not to fall in love with you. For some reason, girls think that saying this is romantic but to guys, all your saying is that you aren’t expecting a real emotional committment from them so they’re home free lol. They can come and go as they please and don’t have to worry about you getting your feelings hurt.
Trust me, i’m really not trying to be negative but refuse to lie to you. I’m sure you want your baby girl to have some sort of positive male influence in her life so you need to up your expectations and stop settling for guys just because they know what to say and when to say it. I seriously doubt that he’s not talking to anyone else but that’s besides the point, your children are whats important. He should be there for the kids but I really think you deserve better…and I really hope you realize that.
Comment by Divine Oubliette on 09/30/2011 at 7:10 pm
1. The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry. Choose with your head as well as your heart.
2. Have no children until your bond is strong, and have no more than you yourself can support. **You may just have to.**
3. At any and all costs finish your education to qualify for those high paying jobs. It is likely that you will work sometime during your marriage, probably for decades…. Get paid for it. **And remember, your kids and your education are forever…. Husbands, lovers and promises are not!!**
4. Have a stash of cash no one knows about even if you are sure you will never need it. You absolutely will, and the more the better.
You need to get yourself out of these men’s lives and get yourself out of their lives. Many of the single mothers I know found it easier to raise their children without “help” from the sperm donors. If you let them stick around they will think they can have access to your body, get you pregnancy again and again and emotionally take advantage of you. Although you ain’t exactly standing up for yourself or your babies. Ditch these boys, get a a job and a vibrator. If you feel the need for sex again protect yourself and the babies you already have by not getting pregnant again! The more kids you have the worse quality of life they will receive. It sounds like someone needs to pick you up and give you a firm shaking to knock the sense back in to you. Get some long term birth control and start relying on your father to help you because he will probably be the only stable male influence in your babies lives. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and act like the mother/woman you are trying to be. Don’t let the fact that you are lonely bring more babies into this world than you can reasonably care for. That’s just irresponsible!