What to do with an alcoholic who won’t sign up to AA meetings?!?
Posted by adminSep 9
okay, so my dad is pretty close to being an alcoholic. After he comes back from work, he starts drinking straight away, [even if its only 3:00 pm!] and then he doesn’t stop until he goes to bed. he always gets dead drunk. He won’t go to any meetings, and me and my mum tried talking to him, but he just never changes. He was always drinking, as far as i remember.
is it possible to get someone to come to our house to talk to him ?
its urgent, my family is falling apart.
thanks x
19 comments
Comment by morbidlybeautiful on 09/09/2010 at 1:42 am
if you dad isn’t willing to do anything about it or change, then you really can’t make him. I know that sucks, but it is the truth. Maybe you should looking into going to Alanon, which is like AA for family members.
Comment by lovenlight08 on 09/09/2010 at 2:20 am
Hun ,
the person drinking has to want to stop , no one can force him to stop
maybe seek counsel and go to allanon
Comment by Beeker on 09/09/2010 at 3:15 am
You could try an intervention. Your father obviously is having some issues that you are unaware of to make him drink like this. If you guys go to church regularly, you could try talking to the Priest there and maybe he could help you.
Comment by dallio on 09/09/2010 at 4:14 am
Well this is what we fail to do…We fail to tell them the truth you can’t be soft on someone when it’s something this serious….You have to be straight forward with them…Show them what they can miss out on if they continue on that path…Take what’s most important to them away….
Comment by Pookey on 09/09/2010 at 5:04 am
I am sorry to hear about your dad. it may not work to have someone come out. If he does not think he has a problem, then it is like talking to a wall.
Good luck to you
Comment by Jerry on 09/09/2010 at 5:40 am
You can do an intervention. Get all his friends and relatives together and that may open his eyes. But to get him to AA, he has to want to go.
Comment by cjtalley22000 on 09/09/2010 at 6:20 am
Please get yourself to an Al-Anon or Alateen meeting. These groups are for friends and family members of alcoholics. What you are going through is extremely difficult, and these people understand. They are going through, to some degree, the same stuff you are. Find a meeting in your area and get there as soon as you can. They also have lots of literature for sale — some really great books.
Al-Anon saved my life.
Comment by Ellie on 09/09/2010 at 6:27 am
You can’t help those that don’t want to be helped. Call the AA and ask them for advice they can direct you better because they deal with that every day
Comment by ryanofweird33 on 09/09/2010 at 6:27 am
Get an intervention going. Invite only family and a close friend or two.
Personally, if I were an alcoholic and hearing/seeing that all those people cared and could see a problem, I would listen.
I wish everything turns out for the best! = )
Comment by In Him I Live.... on 09/09/2010 at 6:51 am
Your family and his friends may have to come together to do an intervention. Here is a web site where you can get some tips:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/intervention/MH00127
Good Luck!
Comment by Cristian on 09/09/2010 at 7:25 am
wait i need to call my UNCLE FOR THESE
HE SAID BECAUSE come on drunken uncle say something
HE SAID ITS BECAUSE HE DOENST LIKE TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DOO.
i know that didnt explian much.
Comment by miss on 09/09/2010 at 8:23 am
How old are you? Its not your job to save him. You can let him know how you feel but dont do it all the time it wont penetrate. Focus on you. You dont want to try and try and watch years go by. Maybe talk to your mom and get one of your father brothers to talk to him.
Comment by eric j on 09/09/2010 at 9:16 am
You should call an AA near you and ask them. They must have a website that could help you too. Your problem seems pretty common so I’m sure they know how to help you.
From my experiences, you can’t help someone who doesn’t want help.
Best of luck.
Comment by leener on 09/09/2010 at 9:54 am
Alanon & Alateen are wonderful options for folks dealing with an alcoholic
Comment by quithittingyourselflol on 09/09/2010 at 9:54 am
wait till he passes out, blindfold him, drive him there, ductape him to one of the chairs and if you want a house call, then call the aa people and let them know your story. im sure they wont object. good luck!
Comment by mzvtul on 09/09/2010 at 10:27 am
You can’t force this. An alcoholic cannot stop drinking for someone else. They have to do it for themselves. In order for them to seek help, they have to realize they have a problem, and then they will seek help.
The other alternative is an intervention. But, if you do an intervention, you have to be ready for war, so to speak. The alcoholic is not going to like it. They may cry, seek pity, or they may get angry, and threaten. You must be steel. So, don’t do an intervention unless you are absolutely committed to carrying it through.
You can have someone come and talk to him, but the chances that it will work are slim, because, as I’ve stated… the alcoholic must realize they have a problem before they will accept help.
Comment by JO-CO on 09/09/2010 at 10:44 am
My folks drank their selves to death. So until someone wants to help their self you are wasting your time and energy.
Comment by The difference on 09/09/2010 at 10:47 am
Talk to mom about having an intervention. Thats where the family gathers to talk to your dad about the damage his drinking is creating.
I wanna share something with you: I used to smoke until one day my daughter came to me and just hugged me. I found it a little odd so I asked her whats up. She said “I love you and I don’t want you to die”. She explained that they were studying about the harm smoking does at school. It touched me so deep I handed her my pack and asked her to dump them. I smoked several weeks later at work and come home and said “sorry, daddy messed up”. I felt myself answerable to her. I haven’t smoked in 4 years.
Comment by Helen W. on 09/09/2010 at 11:13 am
Sweetie, AA doesn’t get people sober. People get sober when they decide they want to. Then, some people, not all, but some, find AA useful. There are other groups as well, and some people (contrary to popular belief) do it on their own.
So the issue isn’t about AA, it’s about the fact that your dad apparently has no intention of quitting, at least not right now.
I know it’s horrible, but forcing him into AA isn’t the answer.