What should i do about my abusive father?
Posted by adminMar 1
I’m 17 and well since i was young and even before I was born my dad drinks beer constantly. He always shouts at me; for any little thing. He has been getting more aggresive now and i don’t know what to do. I’m afraid either me or him will do something really bad leading either to death or jail. He drinks at the most a six pack of beer a day and sometimes consumes cocaine every now and then. I really need help and i don’t know what to do.
42 comments
Comment by anthony982149 on 03/01/2010 at 2:46 am
Call the police.
Comment by Chewy B on 03/01/2010 at 3:45 am
FIGHT BACK
Comment by kmelektronik on 03/01/2010 at 4:04 am
There is no fixing here.
Move out when you turn 18
Comment by Jayne on 03/01/2010 at 4:40 am
talk to someone ! If you cant talk too you mother or anyone related call a helpline get professional help oh and the more evidence you get the more it will help you
Comment by Bob on 03/01/2010 at 5:30 am
Stand up for yourself, call the child abuse agency, or threaten to do so, or you can just wait until your 18 and move out
Comment by Kolby K on 03/01/2010 at 6:07 am
were is your mom? maybe peace out and stay with her?
or another relative/friend?
but if your dad is being crazy and abbusive, call the pigs they can help
Comment by Dr. Philerson on 03/01/2010 at 6:57 am
Yeah, call the police.
Comment by You remind me of the babe... on 03/01/2010 at 7:16 am
if you call DCYF they will get you out of there. do that before you turn 18.
Comment by LifeIsPeachy on 03/01/2010 at 7:38 am
You should get dss involved so they can protect you from this happening more…. You should get a job if you dont already have one… save up and get out.
Comment by Angel From Heaven on 03/01/2010 at 7:39 am
get help. Call the police and if ur parents are divorcided move in with ur mother.
Comment by lukieluke on 03/01/2010 at 8:21 am
My dad drinks and im 11. i know how you feel! =[
Comment by A.K. on 03/01/2010 at 8:44 am
I would try to call the cops, or I would try to talk to a counseler at school about the situation.
Comment by Ariel on 03/01/2010 at 8:52 am
drinking beer isnt against the law and nobody is going to care if he hits you, unless of course you want to end up in foster care. (:
Comment by Hipster on 03/01/2010 at 9:37 am
Do you have a friend or other relative you can stay with?
Or
Start planning on going to college, and focus on getting away. Go to a college where you can stay in the dorms, and start a new life of your own.
Comment by DakotaLOVELESS on 03/01/2010 at 10:21 am
Don’t just sit around, and ask people over the INTERNET.
Tell someone. And I mean people you acutally know.
Be strong, ‘fight back’! Just fucking tell on him.
It will make things better..
Go to the school counselor or something.
Comment by Strait Country on 03/01/2010 at 10:56 am
get out, or call cops when he’s using cocaine, then he’ll get arrested.
Comment by Luvin_MJ on 03/01/2010 at 11:25 am
Call DYFS.
If you feel like you cant live in the house anymore because you feel like your life is in danger, call the police or try and find a family member or friend that you can stay with.
Comment by Single Mommy and Loving it! =) on 03/01/2010 at 11:58 am
can you talk to a close family member about it? like your mom or a grandparent? they might have a big impact on what you could do…like move in with a different family member or something.
Comment by amanda on 03/01/2010 at 12:00 pm
i would call the police…talk to a councler so they can call someone or can call the police..just try to prevent him from hititng you. just do what he says make him happy. make him not want to hit you. and just stay out of trouble. be realy nice to him and try to prevent it. hopee it works good luck
Comment by faith on 03/01/2010 at 12:36 pm
Call 1-800-422-4453. This is a number for a child abuse line. You can also call family services in your area or talk to your guidance counselor at school.
Don’t do anything bad! You have the rest of your life to live so don’t do something that will mess it up.
Comment by rosee «з on 03/01/2010 at 12:52 pm
Uhm.. I don’t know..
REPORT HIM MAYBE?
If he hurts you (physically), you might want to report it right away then..
But still. You should report him now anyway.
Comment by K@$C! on 03/01/2010 at 1:15 pm
you need to get help from the authorities kids like this come to school and NOTHING gets better until they get some help from the police or social services especially if there are younger sibings in the house right now you could just wait until your 18 but if you want him to get help call the police they’ll arrest him and they’ll put him in rehab
Comment by a5b100drun5b1ak on 03/01/2010 at 1:30 pm
You and your mom/any sibling need to get out of that house and move with a close relative until or if he calms down with the whole drinking beer and throwing his hands everywhere, before you or anyone gets hurt. Don’t go to show crappy psycologists(sp?), because they don’t help, trust me. I went to one before because of a divorce of my mom and dad, and they don’t help. Even if you really love your dad altough he does what he does, please call the cops. You never really know what could happen. – Hope I helped! Take care!
Comment by Danny on 03/01/2010 at 2:06 pm
a 6 pack of beer isnt much at all so hes probably just an asshole
Comment by Jmarie on 03/01/2010 at 2:37 pm
Please do any thing you can to report it. Tell someone you trust, Tell your favorite teacher. Try your best not to retaliate. Don’t be afraid. I would look up Tyler Durman. He’s a motivational speaker and he helps many people.
Comment by mikenitro94 on 03/01/2010 at 2:41 pm
It’s time to go live with a friend…
Comment by R.I.P Cesar<3 on 03/01/2010 at 2:48 pm
Call the police. In some states you can move out when you’re 17. You might wanna look up the legal age for you to move out in your state. You can call a family member or a friend and stay there for a while. My dad drinks a lot but it’s easy for me because my parents are divorced…the first time I was hit, I refused to go back. But the best thing to do would be to call the police.
Comment by Robert C on 03/01/2010 at 3:41 pm
go to the police station and they will set you
up with a family counselor and maybe get you
somewhere safe and gets your
father the help he needs
Comment by lizzylou<3 on 03/01/2010 at 3:48 pm
you proberly dont want him to go to jail,
make an escape route.
if hes bigger than you
in sted of fighing back bcuse trashed people do some stupid shyt that they will regret later.
if you bedroom is on the 1st floor bash out a window and dont open it.
or if your on the 2ed floor bash out a window that has roof under it and then walk out on the roof and find a way down or just sit out there.
if hes drunk hell fall out the window.
but sence your 17 and can drive.
when your dad gets home just take a long drive and if it gets bad just pact things in your car to sleep then go back in the morning he sould be better by then.
hope i helpt.!
Comment by Morgan S on 03/01/2010 at 4:32 pm
Fighting back isn’t the best of ideas because he’s drunk and won’t fully understand what he’s doing. (Might kill you)
Either call the police or try to avoid it until you can move out. But don’t do anything stupid, Just keep reminding yourself, “I only got another year of this and I’m done!” You’ll make it, don’t worry.
Comment by Erin on 03/01/2010 at 4:42 pm
You need to call child protective services you are only 17 and it sure sounds like you need a break and a change to make it, call them asap.
Comment by I Love Him on 03/01/2010 at 5:15 pm
when will u be 18.
get a job a.s.a.p so u can save up and move out.
but until then call the police or try to get him into some rehab facility
Comment by Sinizter on 03/01/2010 at 6:06 pm
LEAVE NOW go some where where you can hide out for a while and call people! let them know what’s going on.the cops,a relative somebody and if all possible pack your shit and move out.thats a very dangerous combination and he’s not going to quit because you asked him to.Tell him nothing and LEAVE!
Comment by g on 03/01/2010 at 6:34 pm
well i dont kno ur financial situation but if u dont all ready have a job get one and save up as much money as poss to move on ur own,or stay with a friend or family,it might b hard but most people like ur father very rarely wanna get help,best thing to do is 2 either stay outta his way or get out,if it gets way too serious call the cops,u may love ur father,so dont b afraid 2 call the cops,mayb u should try an get a hobby so ur not by him all the time,
Comment by Lissy on 03/01/2010 at 6:46 pm
Call the cops, cocaine is illegal. You should do it when he’s not around though, in case he gets angry. Child protective services is a good idea, particularly if you have younger siblings. If not, you can try to move in with a relative or become emancipated.
Comment by polkadottt on 03/01/2010 at 7:33 pm
call teh police right know or when he starts getting aggressive
or call 1-800-799-7233 which that is the NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE or
1-800-843-5200 which is the CALIFORNIA YOUTH CRISIS LINE or
1-800-656-4673 which is the RAPE, ABUSE AND INCEST NATIONAL NETWORK HOTLINE
hope it helps and call before its too late
Comment by kitkat on 03/01/2010 at 7:48 pm
Due to your age there is not much you can do. Do you have family or friends that will allow you to stay with them?
I would suggest to study hard and go to college. Your only hope to get out of that life is to make sure you never end up like him. You may need some counseling.
I’m sorry you are having to go through that. I work for CPS and know that there is not much you can do. However, if he hits you then you can call the police. You need to protect yourself, but don’t fight back unless you have to in order to protect yourself. Let the police do their job don’t get yourself in trouble. Your young and you don’t need to ruin your life and end up in jail. Instead just call the police and let him go to jail.
Comment by me on 03/01/2010 at 8:24 pm
if you are still in school talk to the school councelor or a teacher… if not call the police or a relative…
Comment by Seth on 03/01/2010 at 9:15 pm
Call your friendly neighborhood Emergency Number 911 besides COCAINE? yeah he needs a lesson please 911 he can’t do cocaine and drink beer there.
Comment by Ralph T on 03/01/2010 at 9:22 pm
Ask a relative to take you in so you can finish school.
Legal aid can help you make legal decisions or give you advice.
If you will be 18 soon,you can wait until then and then have a close relative take you in.
I would say call family services,but you could end up in a worse situation.
Best solution: Talk to legal aid and find out what your options are before you do anything.
Comment by Kieran on 03/01/2010 at 10:11 pm
I come from the same sort of household. I would suggest a few things:
1. Learn when it’s time to fight and when it’s time to lay under the porch and watch. Alcoholics/addicts are usually very volatile. Always fight back if the abuse turns physical.
2. If you can’t bring yourself to get emancipated, then you have to learn how to adapt. Avoid your father whenever possible, be direct and quick in communicating with him to avoid conflict, and keep a runaway kit handy. (Cash, a change or two of clothes, toothbrush and toothpaste, soap and shampoo, sturdy shoes, flashlight, a pack of lighters, switchblade or something of this nature for self defense, and a heavy coat. Keep all this in one bag if at all possible, and get the hell out if things get too out of hand.)
3. If push comes to shove, you need to intimidate him into leaving you alone. I’m sorry to say that the cops won’t help you as much as you can help yourself.
Comment by Kaitlynn D on 03/01/2010 at 10:48 pm
ok this is what you do you dont have to answer i truly do not know what to do but ill try to help you do u have another relative who can help????? if you do than you talk to them in person or on the which ever one fits for u.than,you get your relative to help you 1. and formost remember whatever hes doing is not your fault.. these are issues he has with himself and some where down the line he figured that being abusive is ok…what you need to do as a 17 year old is stand strong and when he starts to get angry you tell him that this is going to be the consquences for his action.. either jail or losing you… if he doesnt stop call the police and have him arrested now this sounds harsh but he has to have consquence for this behavior and also he would have to go to anger managemnt and couseling by order of the judge.. then he can find out what causes his temper and hopefully stop…and also you will feel safe again.theres what u got to do good luck