What other psychological effects could this person have?
Posted by adminJun 9
A friend has recently revealed to me that she once strangled her father then ran away from home. This was after she had told me that her father is an alcoholic and used to hurt her when he was drunk (both physically and emotionally). This is the main reason she took up martial arts to defend herself from her father. She is a Lesbian and just recently ended a 5 yr relationship with someone who is clinically depressed. It’s really sad that she had to go thru this. I want to help her but now she claims she’s fallen in love with me and I don’t know what to do. I like her but just not in the way she likes me.
One comment
Comment by jodartha on 06/09/2010 at 4:05 am
You have an emotionally protected friend that has attached herself to you. Why? You are kind and you care.
Without trying to figure out your friends martial arts interests or if her father deserved being choked, it is easy to see that your friend has had a rough life. She may be gay because of her father, or not…..but what she needs right now is a friend.
Perhaps you may want to present it that way to her.
Say you are not interested in her romantically, but that you are her friend. Remember that she could have been molested by her father…(even if she doesn’t admit it)…and may equate love with sex. This means that she will romantically attach to you as the only way she knows to get love.
Reinforce that you are her friend. That she needs to do nothing more to get your friendship. Then direct her to other resources besides you for support.
You can’t fix her but you can listen and be her friend. A friend such as this has much bigger problems lurking than you will be able to fathom. You don’t mention her age…but therapy is necessary at some point. No matter how strong she is…or how much she can protect herself.
Just listen. And then back away as you need too. Remember you can’t save anyone. She will have to do that herself. Good luck and don’t get too scared…it has hard to have a life like hers and move on.