8 comments

1. 

   Comment by SallY on 10/31/2011 at 9:50 am

   My 3 year old does that and her pedi. says to ignore it. . even when it seems hard to do. Try ignoring it for some time and see if it works. Keep an eye on her tho to make sure she doesnt go after the 2 year old to get your attention. I personally wouldnt let her go with her dad for the reasons you listed but thats just me. Good luck, my 3 year old still throws BAD tantrums but ignoring it seems to help sometimes.

2. 

   Comment by seamstress on 10/31/2011 at 10:07 am

   You need to take back control and above all, you absolutely need to be consistent. If all she gets is negative attention, ignore her. Whenever she does the slightest thing right, give her attention and praise her efforts. She will soon realize that if she wants attention, she has to be good to get it.

   And, this daughter of yours is old enough to know better. So, sit her down and explain the new rules. Let her know that you love her but you will not put up with nonsense anymore. Tell her that if she does not act like a big girl, she will do time out in her room. Begin taking away toys and tell her why you are doing it and what she needs to do to get the toys back.

   You see, it really is pretty simple. No, it is not easy for me to say that from here. I know this can be done because I did it with a completely out of control son who was driving me absolutely crazy until I took the control back. You can too.

3. 

   Comment by Pretty Boi P on 10/31/2011 at 10:50 am

   My daughter just turned 5 and I have received similar stories from her mother when I dont see her for a while. My situation is a little different because her mom wont let me see her and I want to be involved.

   I think she misses her Dad and thats not any thing you should be scared of. Little girls and their fathers have special bonds that are very durable. If you are concerned about his behaviors I would suggest looking in to supervised visits. Most states will cover the cost for those and your kids get to see their father. Hope things turn around for you.

4. 

   Comment by Amy on 10/31/2011 at 11:15 am

   of course it is important to spend time with her but you also have to let her know that this type of behavior will not be rewarded. I would put her in time out and make her stay there until she is willing to behave. Things have changed and she is testing you to see what she can get away with.

5. 

   Comment by j3d on 10/31/2011 at 12:04 pm

   give her more love/time/attention/devotion.
   the child who acts out the most, needs your love the most right then.
   give her special time. cuddle with her at night and tell her she’s your baby!
   rub her back and listen to what she has to say. she’s trying to express to you her feelings the best way she can. she’s trying to get your attention the only way she knows how. listen to her and make her feel more loved. she feels she is lacking something and you are the only one who can fix it.
   forget the ex, don’t you dare let him take her. she needs you and her siblings.
   this will pass in time. for now… give her more LOVE that’s all she needs. trust me.

6. 

   Comment by Mom to 3 under 7 on 10/31/2011 at 12:29 pm

   Sometimes I think it’s really hard to be 4, and it’s especially hard to be the middle child even without the extra challenges you’re having with her father.

   My kids are now almost 7, 5, and 2. My middle child struggled a lot at age 4 — threw more fits, was more dramatic, demanded attention, etc. She’s now 5 and has started to really come into her own. She can still be quite dramatic, but she’s also very helpful, and she’s the one most likely to try to appease her older sister and younger brother to make everyone happy. I think she needed to find her role in the family where she wasn’t competing with everyone else and she could just be her own person.

   Hang in there! Continue to give her lots of positive attention when she’s behaving well (even more than you think she needs — really pour it on, at least for a while). Ignore the bad behavior, or offer a distraction if appropriate. Try to get her involved in taking responsibility for herself, and praise her when she does well. If you can, give her some one-on-one time while someone else watches your other two (and take a turn doing that with each child). Or have another family member or friend take each child on a special “date” so that they can soak up the attention.

   Encourage her to do whatever it is that she likes and is good at so that she can build her confidence and take pride in something. My daughter loves fashion, dancing, and coloring, so we give her lots of opportunities to be creative in those areas. (Yes, it means that sometimes she changes clothes a million times a day or gets out all the crayons and craft supplies in the house, but she’s proud of her efforts.) She also loves to cook with Daddy, and the other kids aren’t as interested, so that’s something special for them to do together. Maybe you can find something similar that you and your daughter can share that the other two simply don’t care to do.

   Good luck to you, and I’m sending you lots of patience vibes in the meantime. Hopefully, your daughter will turn around for you at age 5 like my middle child did.

7. 

   Comment by Natalie C on 10/31/2011 at 12:46 pm

   Child Abuse. Beat the crap out of her.

8. 

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