Should I go see my dad?
Posted by adminNov 30
Me and my dad never had a very good relationship, he wasn’t around a lot when I was younger and about a year and a half ago we had a pretty big blow out. I kind of keep in touch with other members of his side of the family but I haven’t talked to him in since the blow out. He is not in the best health and I recent found of threw a mutual acquaintance that he has gotten into heavily using meth. I honesty don’t think he is going to live more than maybe a few years. I am starting to wonder if maybe I should go see him while I still have a chance or if seeing him now in this state might be worse than remembering him the way I already do.
9 comments
Comment by happi2bwu2 on 11/30/2010 at 7:28 pm
You should definitely go and see him and stay in contact with him. You may be the one that can get to him about his condition. You might be able to talk him into rehabilitation and he could turn his life around. You will always wonder if you could have made a difference if you don’t try to see him and talk to him.
Comment by Nite Angel on 11/30/2010 at 8:04 pm
im sorry girl, well yea you should go see your dad, you cant hold grudges forever..talkin to him, showing him you love him might actually be what your dad needs…be there for him, it sounds like he needs you and you definetly need him.
Comment by kittykisskisss on 11/30/2010 at 8:22 pm
I think you already know what you have to do. Go see him and if the worst comes to the worst you wont have a guilty conscience. Build those bridges.
Comment by Jessica F on 11/30/2010 at 8:35 pm
You should go see him. One of my mottos in life has always been- You can’t control how other people act, you can only control how you react. You are’nt responsible for what he does, only for what you do. I also have a father who is a druggie and an alcoholic- but I am kind and cordial to him. I don’t want to have any regrets, later. Good luck to you. Hope this all goes ok for you.
Comment by tony on 11/30/2010 at 9:23 pm
You should diffidently go to see him. Perhaps you could bring a family member as well. It has to be someone he really respects. Ask your dad what is plans to get off of meth? You should try to get him to think of ways of straighten up his life. It has to come from his lips.
Perhaps you can bring a plate of food or buy a small present for him. Whatever happens just avoid in getting into any arguments with him. God bless.
Comment by Nikki E on 11/30/2010 at 10:02 pm
I lost my dad two weeks after my 14th b-day. I would do anything to have a conversation with him again. Don’t be stubborn, he’s your dad. Just forget about the argument and go see him please.
Comment by tamara g on 11/30/2010 at 10:04 pm
If he is heavily using Meth he is not a in a very stable mind right now and I am guessing he never will be as long as he is on that stuff. I think if you could have reached him before he started that you should have. Just to let him know your sorry for the way your relationship ended up. I think it would be good for you to talk to him when he is in a stable mind but not on this Meth stuff. It changes who you are.
It might be good to remember him the way he was, because you know~~ at one time in his life~~ you meant the world to him, and maybe he hit a bad spot in his life that was hard to overcome and this kind of thing can happen to all of us. It all depends on how we deal with things that make us different, and he may have been facing something very difficult in his life. Sometimes we can’t control our hurt and we deal with hurt the wrong way. I guess it depends on how his moods are. It might be nice if you show up and offer to take him somewhere where that he can laugh again and have fun. A bowling alley, Karaoke bar, and sing a duet with him, or even something quiet like a nice dinner at home or out.
I had a similar situation with my mother, she said some mean things and in turn I was hurt and quit contacting her, a year later she died, and I never said I was sorry for bursting out but she hurt me really bad and said things she never should have. I don’t regret what I did though, I remember her for the times that were happier, and I am ok with that. It all depends on how you deal with things. If you miss him, go see him If he is in a really weird state of mind, maybe mention you just wanted to come and say you love him and your sorry your relationship wasn’t stronger, and let it go at that. Who knows, you might say something that makes it click with him and he could very well snap out of this and respond in a good way, you just never know until you try I guess. I never knew anyone with a chemical dependancy, so I can’t give you advice on how to deal with him if he is out of control, but I do wish you luck and hope you’ll be able to mend your relationship.
Comment by POTOULA on 11/30/2010 at 10:52 pm
Go see him. I am sure he would like to see you to. Dont want to have regrets later. Good Luck.
Comment by Mr.Answers on 11/30/2010 at 11:47 pm
Well, I’ll put it this way! You have 1 Mom and 1 Dad and no matter what roads they take in life! They will always be your parents! Today many families live day in and day out! Struggling with life’s bumps in the roads!
Your father may have not been around you when you were younger, and it may have haunted him all thoses years too!
He missed out on Daddies little girl,part of life and most likely regrets it alot! But always remember one thing! We all aren’t going to live forever! Sure you and your Dad had a huge fight! But I bet he don’t love you any less! But I bet if he was to die tonight and you had never gotten to see him again!
It would most likely haunt you the rest of your life! You and your Dad may not see eye to eye, but once he’s gone! it’s for good! He may have gotten into meth really bad, because maybe that is his way of facing that he knows he won’t be around much longer and it’s the only way he can deal with it!
You are the only one who can decide if you should see him anymore! but if you decide to just leave things the way they are! you have to be able to be honest with yourself if you don’t go see him anymore and you’ll have to live with that final answer!
But you could write him a letter, or call him if that would be easier for you, because of the fact you were told he’s heavily into meth, but maybe he didn’t! and I’m sure you’d feel very uncomfortable seeing him like that if he is using meth! But for now you could at least write him or call him to see how he’s doing, and he may surprise you and tell you he wants to see you!