These days I don’t feel like trusting anyone. Many just betray me or can’t understand me. I do try, I really do, but I feel isolated and vulnerable.

I’ve never really done well in my “love” life, or if it actually constitutes as one. I’m oblivious to guys who like me, and when I finally acknowledge that they like me, they’ve moved on. I feel like I could just go back in time, relieve those moments and reveal to them that I like them as well! I’m left alone now, and I feel desperate. If a boy starts to like me, I start to contemplate our lives together, and immediately I start liking them until I feel ashamed and completely ignore the opposite sex. It’s a vicious cycle, really.

My friends have used and abused me. A so called “friend” snubs me almost every week but she’s all cute and bubbly to everyone else. I feel like there’s an underlying personality that I can see and everyone else she’s deluding.
Then my “other friend” lied to me just so she could get the boy we both liked. I forgave her even though she doesn’t know that I was mad at her, then she used me to tell her parents we were going to the movies she excluded the fact that she was going with her new boyfriend. Coy much ?

My mom’s had this brain surgery and I just can’t find the connection we had anymore. I used to be so dependent on her, and now, I’m independent. It feels like she’s trying to make me rely on her but I can’t, I don’t want to. I feel bad for her and love her, but I’m mad at her all the time for no apparent reason. I think she cheated on my father when I was little but I’ve never really fully understood their marriage… and now when she’s vulnerable, she reaches out toward my father who will help her to a certain degree, but not like a lover. And I think I am mad at her for her assuming that she’d do that.. ? I have no idea. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother, and the first time I’ve seen my mother in pain in the hospital.. it was excruciating.. but I just have problems of my own.

I’m also having trouble with a diet. Yes, I stress eat, I can say I’m not that HUGE but I’m noticeably overweight. My mother likes to make unnecessary fatty foods to make me momentarily “happy”, but in the long run I feel depressed. And when I make a goal, I reward myself and then binge. Then I start all. over. again. Any advice? Not to mention, I’m VERY limited on money.

Thank you for your time and reading this, I appreciate your help. It touches me to see that someone in the world is taking their time to help me. I know there’s other people who in more trouble than me, and I try to do my best in helping them… and I know the world doesn’t revolve around me.. I just need help.

Whoever you are, you amaze me, astound me, and I love you for that.