Hi, I am engaged to a man who has a 10 yr old daughter who he has full custody of, and who visits her mom every other weekend. So, almost 5 years ago, I moved in, and had a wonderful relationship with my stepdaughter for years. Her mother wanted nothing to do with her, and wouldn’t spend any time with her on her visitations. We ended up taking (the daughter) to counseling because she was having anxiety attacks, and her mom was always moving, and she admitted that her mother was doing drugs in front of her. Her mother was IRATE, and that same year we filed for child support enforcement which made her even more mad. From that point on, her mom and her mom’s family started harassing us. By phone, on the internet, you name it. We just dealt with it. During this time, I was extremely stressed out about an on the job injury, lack of sleep, and infertility problems. I began taking ambien. One night a few years ago, I took my sleeping pill and went to bed. I woke up an hour later in a parking lot in a totalled car. I had no idea what happened. I called the police. I was charged with a DUI, and I went through court appointed treatment, lost my license, etc. Well, 6 months ago, I was in another accident that was cause purely by weather (it was snowing and icy, and the tires were bald) even after I got my license back, I still didn’t drive his daughter around. Also, she was never in any danger. Well, based on my last accident, she got a harassment/protective order and I was kicked out of my home. I didn’t have time to get an attorney because I got served the day before I was to appear in court. I have now been living separately from my fiance, and have had no contact with my stepdaughter for six months. The kicker is that my stepdaughter’s mother currently is trying to get a continuance on the 6mo order (the judge didn’t even read mine and my family’s affidavits) just put the order in place, and let her lawyer call me a train wreck and a drug addict. So, I’m getting ready to fight this continuance with an attorney, and my stepdaughter’s mother has a warrant for her arrest from a fraud case back in 2005 where she used her daughter’s identity to open a bank account, and someone else’s ss#.. the bank figured it out, and closed the account to investigate… meanwhile, she wrote $1200 in fraudulent checks on the account after it had been closed. Anyway, long story short… the woman has multiple fraud, theft (one was our counties little league association for more than $10k) and she is always in court for this stuff.. but no drug charge, although she admits to using illegal drugs and says she won’t stop, but has stopped doing them in front of her daughter.

So, long story short, I have not harassed these people. It has been her mother harassing me for years, and my stepdaughter loved me before all of this. The problems is, is that now she feels like joining her mother in ganging up on me is the only way to gain her mother’s approval…She has told her dad that, and her grandma. She doesn’t want me to come home because her mom will be mad, and so, she’d just rather not see me, and have to deal with it all. And, It’s likely that I’ll win the case, and get the whole thing vacated, but… now I’m9 weeks pregnant with this girl’s little brother or sister, and she has no idea. I don’t want to raise my child or be in a war zone in my own home. What do I do? Serious answers only please, and please read all of the question.
Stephanie, I’m not sure what you’re confused about, but everyone else seems to have gotten it. Please don’t abuse the system by posting your flippant opinion just to rack up your points.

Also, I would like to add.. My fiance and I would have been married long ago, but with my injury, and all of the drama, we decided to wait. And, I call her my stepdaughter because I was the only mother figure in her life for 4 years. My fiance is as supportive as he can be, but what can he do? She’s his daughter’s mother? I admit, he’s not as black and white as I am as far as setting boundaries, and he’s not a vindictive person. he can’t even argue without getting flustered. he is incapable of insulting someone, or proving a point. It’s weird… so I have fought a lot of this battle alone. But, should I just leave? Move closer to my family? How do I deal with this little girl when I move back in. I am resentful (I hate that) but I love her and feel sorry for her too. Her mom is cruel.

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