My Girlfriend is pregnant. I do not love her.?
Posted by adminSep 9
My Girlfriend of (2) years is pregnant. I do not love her. We have lived together for 1 1/2. She has a very troubled life. Her father does heroin and never really sees her but when he does he is the most judgmental person that you will ever meet. Her mother is a horrible woman. She does not take care of her children. She does not cook nor cleans.My girls father and mother are divorced. My girlfriendssiblings are always with my 16 yr. brother at my dads house. They would rather be there than at their moms. She is really neglectful. She is the type of woman that would rather please her boyfriend and make him happy than her children. She has 5 children living with her.
It all started when i met my girl. I was 17 turning 18 in like 2 months and she was 17 about to turn 18 in 6 months. We started hanging out. She told me about her life. She said she had been sent to bootcamp because she skipped school alot. Shes a Freshman in High school at 17.
By the time i turn 18 I asked her out. Everything was perfect. I would be graduating in a week. The girl i really liked was my girlfriend.
I had a summer job at Dell.
her Ex boyfriend at this time had called her. She yelled at him to stop calling her and hanged up.
My little brother heard her yell and asked her why.
He guy called again. My brother answered. The guy yelled at my brother and threatened to beat him up if he did not give her the phone.
My brother hanged up. Later on that day the guys sister came to my girls house and beat her up. I got mad and went to his house. i got arrested. Thats what you call young and stupid.
I was placed on Probation for a year.
About 4 months after that her mother decided to kick her and her older sister out of the house. Her older sister is always depressed . She cuts herself.
I have had to stop her many times from hurting herself. Her father is terrible to her. He has nothing nice to say to her.
She is a really good person.
They found an apartment. They both got jobs and paid rent for like 2 months before they were laided off. Company went down hill.
They could not pay any bills so i offered to help them out for this month while they looked for jobs.
i paid for 2 months. They lost the apartment. My mom offered her and me to move in with her. I did not want to> my mother did not want her living there unless i was there also> she had no where else to go >
so i did it>
i worked to help pay the bills. she did not work. she didnt even look for a job.she doesnt clean, she doesnt cook.
it has been like this for almost a year. i work full time. at 5 in the morning till 2 pm. then go to community college till 6:30.
She is now pregnant. I dont have the same puppy love feel for her i used to have. that is long gone. I do not want to be with her anymore. But the thought of being a father and not having my son live with his mother and father is very sad. i really want to have custody of this child. I know the court will not give me custody of a newborn. Just like before if i decide not to be with her. She will have nowhere to go.
I am miserable. She is not the person she portrade her self to be. Her secrets have been revealed recently.
i feel like my youth is leaving me quickly taking care of a girl that does not take care of her self.
i have been admitted to go to UT of austin.
I Have a great love for this unborn child of mine.
i need to do something Now to Secure my childs future. I know this. I grow up very poor on the northside of austin.
My father had done the best he can without an education. he was a refuge from el salvador. Bad Civil war. thousands killed.
He works 12 hour days.
only getting sunday off.
His youth slipped away from him working.
He did not have the same opportunities presented to me.
i know it takes two to tango. I know i should have used better protection.
I WILL take care of MY child with the same love my father did me.
Am i a bad person for not wanting to be with my girl anymore.
We are not the same people anymore. We are not affectionate to each other anymore.
She has nowhere wlse to go .
I can feel my youth slipping away from me ?
i am 20 now.
She does not work . Will not get her GED.
Can anybody give me advise?
12 comments
Comment by David on 09/09/2010 at 12:35 am
kill the father, throw the mom in jail, and be a happy man
Comment by Hitch hiker on 09/09/2010 at 12:49 am
life’s over for you…you picked it, you live with it
Comment by Heather L on 09/09/2010 at 1:06 am
everything you just wrote up there sounds like a big excuse.. you got her pregnant.. if you didn’t love her and didn’t see it going anywhere further with her then why sleep with her? now you have a child in the middle of all of it… you can still be a good father to the child if you two arent together anymore. but just to let you know.. you knew you didnt love her and you brought this to yourself.
Comment by mavrick_02 on 09/09/2010 at 1:54 am
how capable at faking your own death are you?
Comment by Samantha on 09/09/2010 at 2:24 am
it looks like your in deep… you did kinda look for it because i mean fine if you didn’t love her why not TRY NOT TO GET HER PREGGERS!!! use some type of protection. I mean i was in a similar situation with my ex boy friend but he was the one that couldn’t get his life straight, and i was the one making the money until i said ENOUGH!!! and now i’m happy dating someone new nothing compare to my old bf and we were together got 5yrs.Sometimes change is good. You do get scared at the beginning because your so use to something or someone for such a long time. But then you see everything clear!!!
Comment by browneyes on 09/09/2010 at 2:26 am
well you need to tell her somthing and tell her she needs to get off her ass and start working because she has a baby on the way and needs to get a job or go to school and stop being lazy and for you i know you dont want to be with her but there is a baby on the way and you can leave her like that and i know its hard for you to take care of her and go to work she needs to take care of her self or she can go live with one of her friends if she dose not get a job just tell her how you feel
Comment by sugarmama on 09/09/2010 at 2:59 am
you seem to be carrying the world’s problems on your shoulders. no wander you sound eighty rather than 20 yrs. all your energy has been sapped dry, your feelings inclusive because of the baggage that came with this girl. she has left u with nothing emotionally and financially. and now this. can i suggest that you continue looking after her somewhere and u move out, if u are living 2gether. find your own space and if u are still having a physical relationship, u should stop as this makes moving on harder for her and u. stop feeling sorry for her. she needs to take some responsibility.she needs to find a job to support this child. she is not ill,she is pregnant. i have seen disabled pple who work 9 – 5. continue supporting her and stop thinking u are a bad person for wanting someone to love u. you deserve so much better. its good to remember where u came from and know where u are going. so good luck
Comment by ifyouseekamy on 09/09/2010 at 3:14 am
this is a really tough situation and my condolences go out to you. no one on here has a right to judge you here because you cannot decide how you feel. you claim that you have a love of the unborn child so obviously you are capable of loving.
i know what its like to see someone you thought you liked and cared for just change or to find out secrets about them..
coming from heroin addled parents myself it can be hard to find yourself because the people around you have always been so fake and f—ed up.. i am really sorry for you
i think it will be very hard but you need to get an education to secure the future of this child like youve said
this girl doesnt sound like she is capable of taking care of a child (whether thats her fault or not will be up to you and those who know her)
it doesn’t sound like there are any stable family members you can turn to.. its never fun to involve social services but thats a step you might really have to consider if you are concerned for the baby’s future.
is there any way your mom could adopt the child? i think the most realistic scenario here is to involve your mom because it seems like the only stable thing youd be able to do for the time being until you graduated.. maybe you should bring this to the attention of a social worker now so that you have some evidence built up against her.. make a log of all the things she has done or will do that show you she is not capable of caring for a new born child, but also not totally obliterate her out of the childs life.. have some backup evidence
possibly a lawyer as a last resort
again im so SO sorry for your situation and don’t feel bad you cant make yourslelf love anyone
Comment by BRAZILIAN GATINHA~ on 09/09/2010 at 3:58 am
Although you dont love your girlfriend, you still need to love your child. Take care of your responsibilties.
Comment by debbiesue on 09/09/2010 at 4:48 am
your going to throw that all away. it takes a lot of communication to have relationships work. talk to her tell her she must graduate and get a job. let her take the time while pregnant to make hard desisions on what to do give her 6 months after baby born to shape up or ship out. you’ve had a lot going why not make all efforts to be together ifnot work after trying fine. but you need to talk. both of you have to work at it.
Comment by ~ i LuV tRoUbLe ~ on 09/09/2010 at 5:39 am
dude you tried to do good for her and she didnt jump at the opportunity to make a better life for her self so that shows you.
tell her she can stay with you but needs to do chores n cook to pay her rent . after that let her know that she is on thin ice and you dont think she is the one and u want to work on bringing the baby up the right way.
ur gonna have ur own child to raise now so is she but can she take care of a child if she cant take care of her self ? can she handle being home with a newborn when ur at work & at school is she gonna need you to come home and chang ena d feed a baby ?
she needed to grow up on her own and u just enabled her to do so.
she needs to sink or swim now on her own !
Comment by Brent S on 09/09/2010 at 6:20 am
Uhhhhh…….. move to Canada.