My girlfriend has threatened to get a restraining order against me if I tell her Dad she is on Crystal Meth?
Posted by adminMar 2
My drug addict girlfriend ( I just found out last week) has threatened to get a restraining order on me if I reveal to her father that she is addicted to crystal meth. Everyone I talked to says I should let her family know. If she was to die, and no one warned them what she was up to, I would feel terrible. Is there a way to explain to law enforcement that I have done nothing to deserve an order against me, I was just trying to get her help? If she does get one, how do I go about having it removed?
She is an adult. 29, not a minor
47 comments
Comment by Winter Glory on 03/02/2010 at 1:58 am
if you truly love her tell her family and accept the restraining order, hopefully she gets help.
Comment by Dont Ask on 03/02/2010 at 2:41 am
So tell him. Or better yet, call the cops. She can’t get a restraining order on you if she’s in jail or rehab.
Comment by Keisha on 03/02/2010 at 3:29 am
I dont know…try getting her on that Intervention show on A&E
Comment by crambo605 on 03/02/2010 at 3:29 am
who cares if she puts out a restraining order….stay away from her if she’s a cracked out chick! tell her family and let them deal with it!
Comment by Casey on 03/02/2010 at 4:25 am
she’d have to have a good reason to get an order against you.
if you don’t tell her family, she may die. i think that’s worth getting a restraining order.
Comment by Tariq K on 03/02/2010 at 4:40 am
tell her dad
if she puts a restaraining order on you fine
unless her dad puts one on you then your ok
Comment by shilo9i on 03/02/2010 at 5:26 am
Tell her family, and then get a better girlfriend.
Comment by Paul on 03/02/2010 at 6:14 am
Tell her father. If she gets a restraining order, stop talking to her until she matures.
Comment by brat73 on 03/02/2010 at 6:47 am
she wuld have to prove you are a threat to her. they dont just hand out restraining orders.
Comment by geneticsnut on 03/02/2010 at 7:37 am
Here’s a solution: tell her family, and then stay far away from her voluntarily. One thing is certain – without the involvement of her family, she is much less likely to recover.
Comment by pacman_sex on 03/02/2010 at 8:18 am
If you really love her, then take the restraining order. She doesn’t have to know it was you who told her parents…
Better yet, drop them an anonymous letter. She can’t blame you for it, and it’s for her safety. Sorry you were put in such a harsh and horrid situation. Hope everything works out.
Comment by burgertime on 03/02/2010 at 8:39 am
So what I’ve seen first hand what meth can do to someone, she needs help, seriously
Comment by Chris W on 03/02/2010 at 9:27 am
you must
for her life
never hide something that can change peoples lives no matter how bad the situation might seem
restraining orders arent given out lightly its going to have to be a big deal
and if u say shes trying to get one because u tried to improve her life and possibly save it the judge would never grant something
they may suggest staying away from her but they couldnt order you to do that
really let her dad know and try to get her help
even if she never realises it you will have made a difference to alot more people then just her
please get out and tell people as soon as you can
Comment by mike on 03/02/2010 at 9:35 am
Tell her family! She has to have a reason for getting a restraing order.
Comment by Kj on 03/02/2010 at 10:25 am
Its not your place if you love her let her go and do her thing she will either get it together or she won’t. You can be there for her but don’t be her boyfriend maybe she needs to hit bottom before she will even think of getting it together
Comment by mikearion on 03/02/2010 at 11:17 am
Tell her parents. If she gets a restraining order she doesn’t want you around her anyway. So why would you insist? Those orders always have a time limit anyway.
Comment by Jillian A on 03/02/2010 at 11:32 am
you may be out of luck on this one. you need to tell them and if you tell the law enforcement the truth, it may work out in your favor. If not, find a girl who appreciates your input and concern. you don’t want to waste your life, love and compassion on a druggie who would do this to you for helping her… the truth hurts, I know.
Comment by hea on 03/02/2010 at 11:59 am
well if you really care about her, which you obviously do, her health and well being will trump anything else. shes probably just feeling threatened by what youre trying to do, and shes probably scared and needs you now more than ever! tell her father, its the right thing to do. and if your case was brought to a court and the judge was given all the details, i really dont think he or she would grant the order anyway.
Comment by yuungavery on 03/02/2010 at 12:25 pm
Well you shold tell law enforcers but keep it low-heat
and then tell her family
and then ask the po-po if they could not have a restraining against you because you were trying to help a citizen from dying of an terrible drug.
Comment by sweet sweet jane on 03/02/2010 at 12:33 pm
It doesn’t matter what her reasoning for getting the order….she can just not like you and get it and it would be valid until she removed it……
Regardless, an angry girlfriend is far better than a dead one. She’ll get over it and thank you when she is sober. good luck!!
Comment by Hannah on 03/02/2010 at 1:08 pm
You should definitely tell her parents. They need to know.
And I actually don’t think she will get a restraining order against you anyway, she is probably just saying that. If she does get a restraining order against you, she isn’t worth it anyway, and there shouldn’t be a problem with you not seeing her anymore.
Comment by hairstylist1970 on 03/02/2010 at 1:53 pm
Well, that is a tough question. Since courts now issue temporary restraining orders (that are on your permanent record), for about 10 days, you can rat her out to help her, and then explain yourself in court. You can, prior to the hearing, file a motion to remove this from your record. Your GF will need some very strong evidence. Maybe if you tell her parents about what her plans are, they will back you up. Or, break up with her, say nothing, and move on with your life.
Comment by solo on 03/02/2010 at 2:18 pm
come on man, be realistic. there is no way that this girl is going to get a restraining order against you. Its not lke you just go line up for them at Wal-mart. There has to be a valid reason. Tell her daddy, let her throw a hissy fit.
Comment by momma_m_47280 on 03/02/2010 at 2:47 pm
she needs help pronto! tell her family! when she gets clean, she will thank you! my son’s ex-girlfriend started using drugs and now is going to court because of drug use! he is still her friend, but hopefully he will find a girl deserving of him! maybe she isn’t the right one for you either. but if she is , it will work out even if she gets that restraining order. but her health is in danger! she is someone daughter and as a mother, i would want to know! it will kill her! good luck!
Comment by G.V. on 03/02/2010 at 3:02 pm
I don’t think she can get a restraining order unless she can prove to the court that you are harassing or threatening her.
Comment by trix on 03/02/2010 at 3:26 pm
Why don’t you just walk away from the relationship…Then privatly contact dad if you are concerned for her well being…tell him that you are letting him know cause you feel she needs help and also let him know she has threated you with a restrainer…Which they are really no big deal…you don’t want to be around her anyway…Let the dad know his daughters tweaking…If you feel it will help hre…however she is an adult maybe you just need to walk away…she sounds like she’s not worth the trouble anyway….
Comment by merchanty on 03/02/2010 at 4:04 pm
well seriously would you want your possible future wife to be all messed up on drugs i for one wouldn’t i cant force you to do a thing but if i was in that position i would do anything in my power to help the one i loved no mater what she does to me i can all most guaranty that shell thank you eternally when this is all said and done bro just do the right thing.
Comment by wpbhometown on 03/02/2010 at 4:19 pm
Tell her father secretly, and mention that her father must find out on his own, and catch her in the act as if he didnt know about the meth from u telling him
if that doesnt work, if u truly love her, you know what the right thing to do is.
+ u can convince her to go to rehab
Comment by ruby99 on 03/02/2010 at 4:39 pm
Well the best help would probally come from her family. If you can’t talk her into rehab, tell. Tell anyone who will listen. You can’t fix her. Good luck. Get away from her untill she is better.
It takes some kind of battery or stalking to get a restaining order usually. She is an addict filled with lies. I wish the best for her.
Comment by shortydevito on 03/02/2010 at 5:12 pm
As long as you are not stalking her or physically abusing her, a restraining order will not & can not be put into effect. The authorities will tell you to give her some space until she completes rehab, a restraining order, fight it in court.
Comment by vinny on 03/02/2010 at 5:15 pm
She should realize that she has a great boyfriend that cares for her. Try to talk to her n explain everything. Do whats best for her, she ‘ll appreciate it in the long run. Get her help, stay by her side. About the restraining order, forget it you are not doing anything wrong she is. Good luck!! Best wishes!!
Comment by jbloor@att.net on 03/02/2010 at 5:24 pm
Tell her family – cuz she’s bluffing. Besides, a restraining order takes time and by then you will have done your best to initiate help for her. She will have to ‘prove’ her need for a restraining order, and minus police intervention, I doubt she can do that. It’s not against the law to speak to your girlfriend’s family unless they forbid it themselves. The longer she stays addicted, the less likely she is to survive. Certainly, your relationship with her will not survive unless she gets help. good luck.
Comment by Mike on 03/02/2010 at 6:24 pm
she needs help, and in order to get the RESTRAINING ORDER, she would have to tell the judge WHY she needs one. Do you think she would go and admit IN OPEN COURT that she is a druggie? TELL HER DAD NOW and get her the help she desparately needs.
Comment by Damocles on 03/02/2010 at 6:45 pm
Tell her family? What about tell the cops? She needs to get cleaned up, and so getting busted may be the wake-up call that gets her clean and sober.
Comment by Citizen1984 on 03/02/2010 at 6:50 pm
Sorry you have problems. Get away from her ASAP to protect yourself.
You don’t need this kind of trouble. If she’s willing to perjure herself to manipulate you I can guarantee she will be full of surprises.
If you really are stuck on her. Still, get some distance and let her contact you. That will put you in a more powerful position.
Good luck.
Comment by Moca on 03/02/2010 at 7:38 pm
wait. wait. Your girl is a drughead and you are worrying about an RO. How about potential jail time for yourself if and when she brings her smack to your house or on a date. And the police so happen show up. Get a clue and leave her.
As for the RO. Don’t worry. When all of you are together( GF, You and her dad). Just throw a bag of white stuff in the air and watch what happens.l HAHA
Comment by simply_jenni on 03/02/2010 at 8:33 pm
well you do love her..right? and you obviously care about her. she needs help so you should tell her dad but tell him that to be gentle on her. it’s bad for her and NO ONE needs drugs in their life to live. make her see what she is doing to herself that’s harming you and her. if she wants to get a restraining on you, she has to have a good reason but i’m pretty sure she’s not gonna say that you told her dad she was on crystal meth and she’ll probably lie. if she loves you, she won’t get a restraining order on you.
Comment by palin3 on 03/02/2010 at 8:36 pm
Would you rather see your girlfriend in the Funeral Home as this is what is going to happen if you don’t intervene. I’m sure her father loves her and would act on your information to see if he can get her to get help. A restraining order is nothing compared with the anguish you would have to live through if you did nothing and enable it to continue. She in the end will have to want to deal with the meth problem but hopefully with your support and that of her family it may happen. Good luck..
Comment by maisy on 03/02/2010 at 8:40 pm
She can’t just get a restraining order against you. She has to have a reason in order for a judge to issue the restraining order. Most meth addicts will not willingly put themselves in contact with the court system/law enforcement. I think she is just bluffing, but even if she did try to have an order issued- so what? She needs help. Let her family know, for that matter let law enforcement know. Most meth addicts do not seek treatment until AFTER they have been arrested and ordered to attend treatment by the court system. Even then meth addiction recovery is extremely difficult. A drug like meth is so insideous you have no time to waste!
Comment by bigdawg on 03/02/2010 at 8:59 pm
My wife used to work for the county crisis hot line.
She would handle calls like this all day long.
I recommend that you simply call the local police and ask for the Crisis Hotline, that you need to speak to a social worker.
Tell the social worker all about it. They will help your girlfriend out, and you can remain anonymous.
Don’t be afraid of speaking to the police ! BUT DO NOT dial 911, call the 411 and ask for the NON Emergency police phone number for the city that you live in. Then call the non-emergency police number, and you shouldn’t have to explain anything to the police, just ask for the crisis hotline.
Comment by bluecaligirl91 on 03/02/2010 at 9:49 pm
ok well the FIRST THING i would do is dump her like a bad dream, the WORST kind of person to be mixed up with is a meth head, take it from someone who knows, they r completly beyond reasoning and humane logic, im sorry if u care about her but the hard truth is shes pretty much gone you cant save her worry about saving yourself because once you get wrapped ip in the cycle of someone elses addiction, its like trying to find your way out of a spider web, and thats not over dramazised at all, you cant help someone who doesnt want it she has to want it for herself, and thats the hardest thing for an addict the upside is if she does get a restraining order on u for telling her family at least they will know your intentions, and the restraining order wont apply to them only to her. i know this is a huge shock but its so serious and your best bet is to leave the seen completely. good luck, im really sorry for that
Comment by legendofslipperyhollow on 03/02/2010 at 10:04 pm
Tell her dad. Before you do, write what you know about her drug use (and her threats against you) in a signed, dated letter and get it notarized. Make a copy for her father and give it to him, when you tell him about your concerns for his daughter’s welfare. This should provide you with the documentation to C.Y.A. (in case you need to go to court) and still get her the help she needs.
Comment by John_in_Houston on 03/02/2010 at 10:33 pm
Buddy, a restraining order keeping you far away from her might very well be in your best interests. You probably feel like you’ve got a lot of time and love invested in this woman. Some enforced time away from her might give you the chance to re-evaluate the idea of having a meth-addicted girlfriend and give you the chance to see that there are plenty of other women out there who aren’t addicted to meth.
But, hey, it is your life…
Comment by RonAlv2 on 03/02/2010 at 11:27 pm
I don’t know what state you live in, but here in California, it is fairly easy to get a restraining order especially for a woman. I would contact the PD prior to doing anything, and get a recommendation from them.
As far as not knowing that she was addicted to meth, particularly crystal, I really don’t understand that one. Unusual eating patterns, unusual sleep patterns, agitation, etc.
I wish you the best of luck because meth is an epidemic, and a resolution to this epidemic is not coming in the near future:-(
NOTE: FYI I am a former Meth addict, been clean now almost 8 years:-)
Comment by Doughboys on 03/03/2010 at 12:20 am
She needs the help. Fry-brains like her will say anything, threaten anything to ensure her habit isnt messed with. I say dump the clown and tell her dad. She cant get a restraining order on you without reasonable grounds. Shes all shit!!, she wouldnt anyway, she’ll be too fried. She just wants you to shut up, and put up with this crap.
Get rid of her, she’ll only cause you more problems. If you love her, you’ll only end up buying the shit for her, to keep the peace. She aint nothing but a piece of shit, and so is everyone else who fries their brains.
Comment by R W on 03/03/2010 at 12:21 am
I don’t care if she is 40 years old crystal meth isn’t something to play with you need to get her some help and if she wont take it tell her father. The restraining order will stand until you tale to the Judge maybe he can overturn it good luck
Comment by Gray Wanderer on 03/03/2010 at 1:13 am
Ask yourself if it is worth it.
What I mean is, do you want your last contact with her to be the restraining order you are served with, or do you want your last contact with her to be when you put the rose on her coffin right before they lower her into the ground?