My dad is going to kill himself…?
Posted by adminApr 5
He drinks too much alcohol. Like 8 cans a night every night. Smokes 20 cigerettes a day everyday. Eats junk food and never walks anywhere. Any ideas on what to do?
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39 comments
Comment by TwinkaTee on 04/05/2010 at 12:06 pm
There is nothing YOU can do. All you can do is pray for him and be sure to lead your life in a way that is more healthy, happy and productive.
Comment by sdimd1 on 04/05/2010 at 12:46 pm
call intavention (the show)
Comment by cats2jlj on 04/05/2010 at 1:29 pm
You cannot make him do anything unfortunately. Take care of yourself. Try to find a good counselor for you to talk about this very stressful situation.
Comment by rocc23 on 04/05/2010 at 1:51 pm
tell him about how much hes hurting himself and how much it hurts you to see him like that……..if he loves you he will make an effort to stop or get help
Comment by Tee on 04/05/2010 at 2:49 pm
1st try tell your dad how you feel about his problem in a caring standpoint , if that doesnt work be blunt about it and try and get him out to do something just once a day for a short amount of time .
Comment by Aifric O on 04/05/2010 at 3:36 pm
id try talking to a close family member about him and then to your dad. You should try and convience him to get help and tell him you’ll be there every step of the way because to get through his he’ll need a helping hand. dont get angry at him, maybe theres a reason hes like that. good luck.
Comment by Rolf on 04/05/2010 at 4:16 pm
Ok, well, I guess that this whatever you want to do, needs to be focus on changing his habits, I have some ideas;
- Let him know that you care about this.
- Find a sport or an activity together, “going out for a jogging”
- Find something interesting to do together at night when he goes for it.
- Visit the doctor together, letting know his “bad habits”.
All of this may work, but nothing as watching your beloved caring about you, so show as noble as you are your interest of having him out of this bad habits and getting into new ones…
Someone that I loved too much told me ones, give me something better to do, and I did, he left alcohol … And he now is happy of buying all this extra life, by getting to know his grand daughter and living high quality life!
Good luck!
Comment by (Josie)
nothing you really CAN do.
just talk to him about it.
its his choice to live that way, and he is the only person that can do anything about it.
Comment by Honey Beats on 04/05/2010 at 4:33 pm
beat him up. thats what we did to help my dad. now all he does is go to work day and day out. he doesnt drink or smoke anymore.
Comment by msu girl on 04/05/2010 at 4:39 pm
Be honest with him. Tell him you’re very worried about him, and that you don’t want to lose your only Dad to his drinking and smoking addictions. Encourage him to exercise by asking him to come play basketball with you, or go biking on a trail. Or ask him to do teach you how to do something you’ve never done before!
Comment by Kay P on 04/05/2010 at 5:11 pm
call oprah or tell every supermarket near you to not let him buy any of that stuff any more
Comment by datsikkidasbat on 04/05/2010 at 5:16 pm
if anyone even cared about him
they would have done something YEARS ago
so yes he will end his own life
AND ITS YOUR FAMILYS FAULT
Comment by david_deathbat on 04/05/2010 at 5:50 pm
u could talk to him
Comment by poyito123 on 04/05/2010 at 5:58 pm
OMG! im sorry but you shud let him know and MAKE him go to AA or something like that
!!!!
Comment by Starbucks Love on 04/05/2010 at 6:19 pm
Look for a doctor in your area & get your family to confront him for an intervention to seek help… or yes, he will have an early funeral. Your family will have to make life changes as well to support his habit by going clean too. No alcohol, cig’s or junk food in the house & you may want to buy some exercise equipment for the house. Good Luck!
Comment by Beachlover1023 on 04/05/2010 at 7:03 pm
Talk to him and make sure he knows you love him, make him realize that you are very concerned about his health. Take him to get professional help, try spending more time with him and let him know you want to help. Good luck, you are a good kid to care for you dad.
Comment by Angelo A on 04/05/2010 at 7:51 pm
damm that was like my dad i would have a 1 2 1 convo with him show him how much ur consrned boght his health or get a doctor. thats all i can advise you good luck
Comment by <3 on 04/05/2010 at 7:59 pm
theres nothing you can do.
all you need to do is learn from his mistakes and make sure that you don’t make the same ones when you’re older.
you can encourage him and try to get him to get healthier habits.. but you really can’t change him.
just learn from it and become a successful person
; ) good luck
Comment by xXKristalXx on 04/05/2010 at 8:49 pm
talk to him…. dads are so weeird because its like, they need to show how tough they are…. he obviously has an issue and AA meetings are probably out of the question… tell him you don’t like his behavior and you feel hurt…. tell him you want him to see you get married…. and him to be a grandpa… but you don’t want to see him throwing his life away …… ask him whats wrong and when he shuts you down stand up to him “look i am your child and you are my dad! and i am not going to walk away from this… there is something wrong and i want to help, please” if he doesn’t comply help look for good therapists around your area and offer to go with him for support… tell him you love him (because you do… hopefully) and you care what happens to him
Comment by Gina Y on 04/05/2010 at 8:54 pm
my dad smokes/drinks but doesnt eat junkies or stays home like a couch potato…
if i were u, STEAL his cigerettes, lighters, alcohol, etc anything thats bad !!
hide it sumwere, make him keep buying his junk stuff, and eventually he’ll end up thinking ” This is a waste of money”
just like my dad, i stole over $700 worth of lighters,cigerettes,etc from him and he eventually gave up on everything !!
hope this helps ~
Comment by M U § L I M ß R o on 04/05/2010 at 9:06 pm
Tell him about islam. Alot of people in his situation came to Islam and left that part of their life. for more info go to http://www.islamalways.com
Comment by Anonymous on 04/05/2010 at 9:28 pm
try to be supportive of him, talk to him and stuff like that. try to kindly encourage him to stop smoking. other than that, just pray for him. i hope he gets better.
Comment by addictivelikeheroin on 04/05/2010 at 9:50 pm
…he will have to WANT to quit. you cant make him. he will have to decide on his own time when he will stop. just llet him know you dont like what he is doing and you care about him
good luck
Comment by Ash on 04/05/2010 at 10:27 pm
Since he has an addictive personality (or psychological dependency) the best solution would be to suggest therapy and alcohol classes. Sadly, it’s usually hard to get one to go to therapy on their own, however that’s your best bet. If you do any of the shopping then you can stop buying certain food products that are high in fat, and look for alternatives. Not all health food tastes bad.
goodluck.
Comment by Eliane P on 04/05/2010 at 10:59 pm
Is he stubborn?
My dad is an alcoholic and he drinks loads, but, he has a really strong liver.
Make excuses
ASK him top lay ball with you?
Hide the cans of alcohol
Under the sink, your bed
Put nicotine patches on him while he is sleeping
that way, he wont crave for cigarettes.
put secret healthy ingredients in his food
hope i have helped
Comment by MiKKi ~:B on 04/05/2010 at 11:05 pm
try really talking to him. total truth.
Comment by Malika on 04/05/2010 at 11:49 pm
Spend as much time as u can with him.
Offer him healthy food and try to keep him away from places where u can get alcohol or buy cigarettes!
Go out with him, spend time and try to make him forget.
nothing can be done all of a sudden…
reduce his intakes step by step and gradually he will end up dose 2 harmful!
For dis, u need 2 most important things to keep on along with ur mission which is:
pray to d God and Patience!
Jus remember, slow and steady wins d race!
all d best buddy!
Comment by one_more_chance on 04/05/2010 at 11:58 pm
you can find some groups for helping him.
Comment by sing4sanity7777 on 04/06/2010 at 12:03 am
You can’t do anything to cahnge his behaviors. It sounds like he has addictive habits and could benefit from AA or OA. (Alchoholics Anonymous and Overeaters Anonymous) maybe not OA but its possible. Just remember that The only person you can control is yourself. You must be worried about your dad huh? You want him to stop all of these bad habits? I know exactly how you feel. Try to stay sane and I have one reccomendation. Alateen. Do you know hwat it is? It is a program for teenagers or preteens (basically children) of alchoholics. Ceck around your city or town for a meeting. It can really help you and you will learn alot. I strongly reccomend it. You will feel so much better! Hang in there and Try to accept your dad for who he is and instead of trying to change his ways, change yourslef and make your self a better person to serve as an example. Try alateen! you will LOVE it!!
Other people have been saying to hide the cigarettes and alcohol but that is teh WORST idea EVER! Think about it, If you hide teh cigarettes, will he still want to smoke them? he will probably jst go out and buy some more. Same with alcohol. It is just a waste of your energy and it will drive you nuts! beleive me, it sux.
Comment by Jenn on 04/06/2010 at 12:52 am
talk to him and let him know youre concerned. if he trys to change his way of living then stick with him and support him. he has to want to help himself before anyone can help him though. If he doesn’t show an improvement, don’t stick around to watch him kill himself. Don’t go to the store to buy him cigs, don’t bring him another beer, don’t get him the junk food he wants. Let him do the work…he can at least get some excercise on the way to ruining his health. Try to help him, but if he doesn’t improve, like i said, don’t do anything to condone his lifestyle. But most importantly make sure he knows your trying to help because you love him and you care.
Comment by notyou311 on 04/06/2010 at 1:19 am
Stage an intervention. Get family friends and friends to confront him about his drinking and smoking. Have some information for him about AA.
Comment by I hate Edward Cullen! ☺*☻ on 04/06/2010 at 1:55 am
you should really get some help for him. try to dispose anything that’s bad for him (the drinks, cigerettes, etc) and see if he’s cool with that. if he’s not, which is most likely, he’ll need professional help.
Comment by noitall on 04/06/2010 at 2:50 am
Your Dad doesn’t care about himself, life or his relationships. He has a serious problem called addiction, and he may be self-medicating an underlying problem like depression. YOU can do nothing except urge him to get clean and start taking care of himself. Understand that he is not your responsibility, and that there’s nothing anyone can do unless he wants to change his attitude and start living instead of killing himself.
For yourself, the best thing you can do is go to Al-Anon meetings where you can connect with other people related to alcoholics and better understand the disease while maintaining your sanity. Alcoholism poisons everyone, not just the alcoholic.
Comment by banana on 04/06/2010 at 3:38 am
hide/trash some of his cigarettes and poke holes through the cans. i did it some to my grandma’s and she ISNT dumb even though she had no idea
Comment by malibu on 04/06/2010 at 3:52 am
remind him he has you.or talk to him about treatment.i dont know this is a tough situation.ask your mom where is she.or another sibling to help you out.school counselor.
Comment by celtjade on 04/06/2010 at 4:25 am
Yes, first of all you need to know that you cannot “make” someone want to do something. Generally they change because of either (a) the pain of staying the same is so bad that anything is easier or (b) they get a ephiphany moment where they get a technicolor glimpse of what the future could be. You can, however, change you. Look into Al-Anon – for families of alcoholics. They’re in the phone book. Attend a meeting. Work on yourself!!! Go for those walks and eat healthy . Invite Dad to join you but don’t expect a whole lot. Most people need motivation. Also, you are not your father’s parent or controller so don’t try to be. You don’t mention whether or not he is married or as a significant other. Talk to that person. Maybe they can arrange an appointment for a physical where a medical professional can give your dad “the word.” You also don’t mention how old he is. My parents are in their 80′s and it is highly unlikely that they are going to change their behavior at this stage. How old are you? Get counseling for yourself so that you don’t have to haul all this guilt and concern around on your shoulders!! Also, refuse to make junk food runs, buy cigarettes or alcohol for him. Refuse to drive him to get them. If he goes out driving drunk to get more, call the cops and have them pull him over (have the car make, model, year & license plate #, along with how much alcohol he has consumed in what time period — like 4 beers in two hours without any food– ready when you make the call so you don’t waste the police operator’s time. Also, don’t get into the car with him if he is drunk and don’t put yourself in a position where you are at risk of being assaulted by him in a drunken rage. If you’re old enough, move out and tell him what your reasons are for moving out, including that you’re tired of watching him slowly commit suicide, the smoke bothers you and then stick to your guns. Al-Anon will really help with that.
Comment by misdreya on 04/06/2010 at 5:07 am
The best thing for you to do is to set a good example and parade that good example in front of him every chance you get.
There’s nothing more disturbing to a person with a crippling addiction than to watch the people they love live happy, productive lives. Sometimes it motivates them to clean up as well.
Comment by Patrick on 04/06/2010 at 5:24 am
i guess its too late to do anything.
Comment by Karate Master on 04/06/2010 at 5:56 am
all you can do is pray