My children’s father is in jail again.?
Posted by adminSep 1
My children’s father has had very little contact with them in the last 5 years since our divorce. The first year I tried really hard to keep him included in their lives, I even went as far as buying him a prepaid cell to call the kids on. (his excuse was he did not have a phone) He never called them, I would even invite him to come to holidays and stay over just to be with them longer and he would not show up. After the year of watching my children be disappointed time after time I finally decided he was a grown man and let him make the intuitive to see them. Years have now went by and the only times they hear from him is when is in jail. Then we start getting the collect calls (which by phone is now blocked) and the I’m so sorry and poor me letters. They often include promises of seeing them when he gets out and so far that has never happened. He gets out and hangs with his buddies and ends up back in jail and the letters start all over again. He never asks “how are the kids doing” Our oldest is in his first year in college and is a great kid, athletic scholarship and our youngest is 10 and just a doll. Today I received a letter and, of couse, it was all about how sorry he is, and how he is going to change. Nothing about how are the kids. He has never been their for them emotionally or financially( I have worked 3 jobs to raise these kids, and have done just fine without him) I am remarried now to a great man who provides not only for our child, but for my two from my other marraige and he wants to adopt my daughter, but how should I go about this? Should I write her Father a letter and ask him to give up his rights? ( I think he will put up a fight) Or go to court and try to get his rights terminanted. I really wonder if I would have a problem, with him on 4 meth charges now. Would a judge look at his past with drugs and not supporting his children? I always hear this is hard to do? My 18 year old wants nothing to do with him and is willing to talk to tell what he has expirenced with his Dad. Help
6 comments
Comment by wendybug7 on 09/01/2010 at 4:06 am
Go talk to the courts or a lawyer. See if there is someone you know, that knows a lawyer. That way it will be free. (Thats what I did when i needed legal advice.)
Comment by Marilyn P on 09/01/2010 at 4:11 am
do not try to negotiate with him he will feel as if he has the power and he will want money out of you, like selling his ‘rights’ to his daughter to you, all his kind understands is the LAW so use it.
Comment by Koshu on 09/01/2010 at 4:14 am
Kick this clown to the curb. Don’t communicate with him any more. See an attorney, this biological father may not have many paternal rights left, if he is a career criminal.
Comment by bfandjd on 09/01/2010 at 4:36 am
Get a good lawyer! Your daughter needs stability and your ex- is not it! I know of a case where the courts terminated the rights of an alcoholic mother for the foster parents to adopt, why not a step parent for a drug abuser!
Best Wishes!
Comment by Idysmom on 09/01/2010 at 4:44 am
My best friend went through a similar process about 4 years ago. She did not negotiate with the father, she and her new husband got an attorney who sent a letter to the father’s last known legal address and put an add in a newspaper in his community about the impending adoption and allowing him i believe 30 days to answer and if he did not it was a default that he voluntarily terminated his parental rights and left the door open for the kids to be adopted. He didn’t answer and the kids have been adopted.
I think your oldest child may be too old to be adopted if over 18.
Comment by Bruce _the_Moose on 09/01/2010 at 5:30 am
honestly, don’t write back, don’t keep after him, just let him fade away, hes not putting the effort in , the kids are happy the way it is, just don’t worry about him.