my boyfriend’s addicted to heroine… what should i do?
Posted by adminMar 31
he asked me to help him in case he went too far into it. and having strong feelings for him like i do i agreed to help him.
well, i found him snoozing in front of my door. i woke him up and he was completely out of it so i snuck him upstairs, showered him and let him sleep in my room.
the thing is though, is that i’ve done this before. when my dad died my mom became a heroine addict. I alone stood by her and got her out of it, whilst taking care of my 2 younger brothers. But this time it feels different. Like it’s going to be harder than last time.
I don’t want to break up with him. I care for him too much. he’s the only person who knows about me being gay and well being a closeted gay star athlete in high school is no easy task he helped me through everything when i was really considering killing myself. so i feel like i owe him…
what should i do? how can i help?
potato potahto
but you don’t understand… we’ve been dating for 2 years. he started getting into it about 4-5 months ago. It wasn’t just him helping me come out that made me fall for him it was just him… the way he made me feel. without sounding corny, i’m not sure if this is love but if i were to take a guess i’d say it is. so i can’t just leave him… i need to do something even if it is holding an intervention or something…idk
10 comments
Comment by willow loves her kara ♥ on 03/31/2011 at 8:01 pm
Aww honey
You need to sit him down when he is “grounded” (i.e. not under the influence of anything) and tell him that you really care about him, and the heroin is going too far- Remind him about what he had said (asking for you to keep an eye on him) and tell him that he needs to change his habit (change or eliminate, your choice in this matter) and that if he doesn’t, your trust in him as well as your relationship in general is going to dwindle and break down over time.
You must really care about him, you are an amazing person just for wanting to help him out of this. Good luck hun
Comment by Kris on 03/31/2011 at 8:22 pm
My boyfriend of 2 years was addicted to heroine when we had first started dating. I’m not a smoker, drinker or drug abuser so it was extremely difficult dealing with him when he was messed up. I also had to bathe him, dress him, and do a lot more for him at times when he didn’t even remember his own name or where he was. If u truly care about the guy- let him know that his drug abuse is not only affecting him in bad ways but it’s hurting u as well. U have to be very straight forward and strong. He may get mad at u for calling him out but if HE cares for YOU he should eventually cool down. Let him know how u feel. Don’t hold anything back. If he gets pissed and leaves u then ure better off bc if he’d rather chose drugs over you then he’s not even worth your concerns. The best thing for him would be to check into a rehab or do some out patient therapy. He will need all the support in the world. This helped my relationship and now my boyfriend is clean and we are happily engaged. Good luck
Comment by gigi on 03/31/2011 at 8:43 pm
It seems you like to be an enabler. The only way for your relationship to work is for you to become a heroine addict yourself. Sorry dear. If you want to help him, then he needs help from a professional. There is no other fix for your friend. You were only lucky if you helped your mom.
Comment by Siouxsie 66Sick on 03/31/2011 at 9:05 pm
I think you mean “heroin.” Tell him he needs rehab and tell him you’ll be there to support him. Heroin is an extremely difficult habit to kick. Sounds like he’ll need detox first. If he doesn’t get help, give him an ultimatum. Hang in there.
Comment by zack5106 on 03/31/2011 at 9:12 pm
YOU do not OWE him anything!’
This is a bunch of crap. Admonishing your homosexuality to a crack-head, and thinking you owe him for understanding and knowing you.
Your life needs to be bigger than this, or you’ll end up being a crack-head yourself.
And, Im not dismissing your feelings for him. I understand theres a bond there. But, youve bonded with someone who frankly needs more help than you do!
Coming out of the closet isnt about who likes you or who dont (and trust me, likely more will like you than not IF your a good person, which you seem to be), but its more importantly about you finding YOU and living YOUR life.
This guy that youve befriended probably needs more help than you can give him. And, this kind of symbiosis between his heroine addiction and your closeted homosexuality isnt a good one.
Best of Luck to Both of you.
Comment by Paul G on 03/31/2011 at 9:52 pm
My sister used to run one of the most successful drug addiction programs in the country. She said the real success rate is pitifully low and recovering addicts are very likely to return to drugs. She says usually the first time in recovery is just to get the address for the second chance at recovery.
Drug addicts drag everyone who cares about them down and mess up not just their life but have a continuing dysfunction that destroys the ones closest to them also.
Unless you are a masochist get away from this guy and rid yourself of him. At some point you will want children and you do not want to put them and yourself through that misery. There is no shortage of decent men who live their lives doing for their family and loved ones in ways recovering addicts couldn’t even think of.
Comment by i LesBiGaydar loves Gaydarology! on 03/31/2011 at 10:00 pm
as people said above, don’t give him money, give him support.
don’t give him somewhere to hide, point him to treatment.
he needs to decide.
it is bigger than you, you are over your head and do not even know it completely, although yes, you helped your mom, and i give you tons of credit.
but your mom choose to fight it.
she choose to get better.
she made the tough road, yes, with your help, but she did it.
you can not force your friend to do anything, period.
you need to get him to people trained, educated and who have mental and psychological skills to help, like therapy and methadone to cover the withdrawal.
his chances of survival are not very good, but you already know that.
i wish you the best, please choose wisely.
go to narc-anon meetings also.
good luck, and remember, you are not a therapist or a nurse or a doctor.
Comment by Saecula Saeculorum on 03/31/2011 at 10:46 pm
Leave
Comment by Crazy Ex-Boyfriend on 03/31/2011 at 11:20 pm
Something isn’t adding up here…
‘I care for him too much. he’s the only person who knows about me being gay.’
and.. b4..
‘He then continued to do that for the rest of the day and pretty much told the entire school. By the end of the day the entire town probably knew it.’
I don’t understand.
Fake.
Comment by Topher on 04/01/2011 at 12:18 am
Get him to a treatment center.