I’m pregnant and the father is an alcoholic?
Posted by adminSep 5
I’m 7.5 weeks pregnant. Although the father says he is extremely happy about the baby and that this is a reason for him to finally step up and “be a man”, I see no changes in him since finding out two weeks ago. He TALKS about all that he is going to do, but at the end of every day, there he is, leaving work early to go home and drink and smoke pot. I come home after working a full day to a messy house and a drunk boyfriend. I can’t raise my child with this. I want to know we’re going to be able to provide this child with a stable home life with no substances of any kind. I had to make changes instantly when I got pregnant, why can’t he man up and make some changes now instead of talking and talking about it. I have thoughts of suicide now because I can’t take all that he’s putting me through, but abortion isn’t an option either. It doesn’t help that he’s cheated on me in the past and he’s a flirt and doesn’t understand how much I hate my looks right now and he’s not making it better.
thanks to all for your answers, but I want to emphasize, I really do love him. I am feeling drawn to what “Heather” responded with. I honestly believe it’s the alcohol controlling him. We’ve talked about meetings in the past but he’s always wanted to tackle this on his own, without the typical program. Ordinarily I’d give him as much time as he needed but now with the baby coming, I don’t have that luxury. He’s not a dead beat, he’s been talking non stop about all the plans for the baby… it’s just the drinking that is scaring the hell out of me.
13 comments
Comment by jaredevatt1 on 09/05/2010 at 3:32 pm
abort fa show
Comment by jesus_built_my_hotrod66 on 09/05/2010 at 3:35 pm
wow, you need to leave that fruit. If he can’t get his damn act together, then screw that hobo.
Comment by jthomas1876 on 09/05/2010 at 4:01 pm
What would you tell someone if they asked you this?
Suicide would kill you and the baby, and is not a solution.
Sounds to me like the answer is simple. Leave. You’re about to be a mother. You need to demonstrate some strength and some ability to take charge of your life. You have to think about the baby more than anything else. If you don’t want your child to grow up in an environment, then you’re going to HAVE to change the environment. It won’t change by itself. And he apparently has no intention of changing no matter how much he talks about it.
Only you can decide.
Comment by shay on 09/05/2010 at 4:19 pm
Honey, he is probably not going to change anything until he hits rock bottom and I pray that you are not there to see it. Please if you are thinking of suicide, seek professional help, let your doctor know that you are depressed and remember, no matter how bad things may seem now there is always something to look forward to. You have a baby coming, that in itself can be a treasure.
Comment by cupidgirl96 on 09/05/2010 at 4:57 pm
u need 2 get a divorce or brake up with that ignerant punk.ther r pretty more fish(that r not alchoholics)in the sea
Comment by sony93931 on 09/05/2010 at 5:27 pm
you need to leave him and believe me he isnt worth taking your life move out get a place by yourself you will find away to provide for your child and for you but please get the idea of suicide out of your head no man is worth your life
Comment by dravenhuntmom on 09/05/2010 at 6:16 pm
First off, Suicide is not the answer. TRUST ME. I have been there. My yougest son is 13mths old. His father and i are not together because his drinking and cheating came first. Even if it means single parenthood, that is far better than the status quo from what it sound like. Men don’t always think things through when they get someone pregnant. Because unlike with us, they don’t have the constant reminders of the consequences of their actions until the child support kicks in. Just remember, There is help out there for single moms. No one needs a man to make a life for themselves and their children. Just stay strong sweetie
Comment by tiff on 09/05/2010 at 6:54 pm
you should go to a doctor and tell them how you are feeling. take care of you and baby first. relationship last.
Comment by Fire_Starter_1 on 09/05/2010 at 7:52 pm
Sadly. He won’t change. The actual chances of him changing are next to nil without help.
You don’t say if you are married, common-law, or just BF/GF status, but that’s not the concern here. Since aborting is not an option, the fact that bringing a child into this world with a drunk/stoned father is NOT a good situation to start your babies new life in. Jumping to the conclusion of just saying *Leave him* is your decision. Have you talked to him about maybe getting some help? AKA: AA maybe? Is he willing for his child and YOU?
The fact that he has cheated comes into mind also. Was it once? Twice?
It’s a tough chioce, but I would consider trying to talk to him about help first. If that is a no-go, then maybe you and your new baby will be better off without him in the picture.
Comment by Heather on 09/05/2010 at 8:20 pm
his actions are just consequences of his disease (alcoholism/addiction) and he probably means what he says at the time and just isn’t strong enough to overcome his disease. my father’s an alcoholic, i understand it all too well. unless he gets in rehab and goes to aa/na then he’ll never change. if he wants to be with you and be a father for the baby, he’ll go to meetings and get his act together for you and the baby. present that as an option.
Comment by rrbiermann on 09/05/2010 at 9:13 pm
get away from that alchy!
Comment by Pretty Girl Mina on 09/05/2010 at 9:25 pm
You poor thing I know this will be hard but you have to leave him. Its not a health environment for you or your baby and you need to get away espically if you’re having thoughts about suicide that should tell you that something is really wrong. You need somone to talk to to get this all of this out. You should sit down and have a talk with him and if he doesn’t change then you need to leave because its not healthy for you now and it definately won’t be healthy for the child when it gets here.
Comment by efrain78223 on 09/05/2010 at 10:02 pm
you need to lose that loser