I’m Having A Lot Of Problems With My Dad, And I Need Some Advice?
Posted by adminSep 30
I’m 15 years old, and my parents divorced when i was 7. Ever since then, my dad has not exactly been the ‘best dad’ shall i say. He went to jail for DUI when i was 11-12. Ever since then, he has either had a suspended driver’s liscence, been on house arrest or some other form of being in trouble with the law.
I just called him to talk to him and he told me that he got in trouble AGAIN. He was in a fight, after he had a few beers, and then decided to drive home with a suspended liscence from a few years ago. The sheriff pulled him over and now my dad says he thinks he will be on house arrest again and figures that he will end up going to jail.
when he got done telling me this, im practically in tears. i have no idea what i have done to deserve this. i am a straight A student in school, am always kind to everyone (at least i try =] lol) and im an all around good kid.
he always says that he loves me, and will always be there for me…but obviously he cant (continued..)
(continued…) if he is in jail or other circumstances like that.
What do i need to do?
11 comments
Comment by rachael m on 09/30/2010 at 10:05 pm
You have done nothing….he had chosen his own path of life….he can decide his own decisions. You seem to have a good life and keep it up! You dont want to have your kids in the same boat. Just know that you have friends that care about you and that you have done nothing for your father to end up in this situation!
Comment by dmd on 09/30/2010 at 10:57 pm
First of all, you have not done anything, it is HIS problem, not yours. I know it hurts, but HE has to straighten himself out, you can’t do it for him.
The only thing you can do is tell him how you feel.
I grew up with a drunk for a father (by the will of God he stopped, but not until I was 21) Anyway, I was having my first child and I just told him, either stop or I won’t bring my child around, I don’t want my child around what I had to be around.
My point being (not to have a kid), but be straight forward and firm with your feelings and tell him!
Comment by Puppy Lover on 09/30/2010 at 11:42 pm
Hi! My idea to your question is that you should tell him that you love him and need him with you. I think he’ll understand that, and after that you should hug him and find a step mom for yourself and a great woman for your dad. Well good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If it doesn’t work than just keep looking towards the future and keep your grades up, so you can have a career so your kids can follow your footsteps.
Comment by Brian F on 10/01/2010 at 12:33 am
The best thing you can do is to lead a good life. Continue doing good in school. Get a great education, and never hook up with a guy like your dad. Remember, you had nothing to do with your Dad’s troubles. Your the innocent victim here not him. I know he is your Dad, and you love him. But I also know that even as screwed up as he is he wouldn’t ask you to follow his lead.
Comment by Jayne S on 10/01/2010 at 1:26 am
Your father has been making some very poor decisions. He is not the only one — you can read stories like this and worse every day. It has nothing to do with you, except that you have to suffer for it. It’s hard not to take it personally, since he is your father, but if you can separate yourself from the situation it will be better for you. What I mean is tell yourself over and over that it’s his problem and you are not the cause. You might want to go to a few Al Anon meetings. They are the ones for family members of alcoholics. The meetings can help you deal with this problem.
Comment by demonicv627 on 10/01/2010 at 1:29 am
First you need to chill, listen to some music or something and get your mind off it for awhile. then when your calm and cool have a talk with your dad. Most of the time that doesn’t work so you need to get some help maybe a good friend of your dads or a teacher.When your talking to him tell him to calm the F*** down if he does really love you then he’ll listen to what you have to say and this time its your turn to watch over him and make sure hes going to right way set some rules. And when push comes to shove tell him if he doesn’t shape up he’ll lose every thing including you.
Comment by aunthentic_beliver09 on 10/01/2010 at 2:17 am
Make him feel that you’re dependant upon him, well at least till you can become an imdependant woman. talk to him and tell him how much it hurts you to see him in this condition, and that you want him to show you that he really cares. hopefully things will work out….don’t lose hope.
Comment by Ebony on 10/01/2010 at 3:14 am
GOOD FOR YOU!
keep getting those straight A’s.
stay away from him for now. he needs to evaluate whats more important to him; jail or the love of a child that loves you. when he sees you concentrating on school and doing good and not in constant communication with you, he will start feeling like hes missing out on something. now he reaches out TO YOU and that will keep him out of trouble, because hes too busy doing what hes suppose to be doing to avoid that FOREVER GUILT deadbeat dads feel later on in life.
Comment by BERNARD C on 10/01/2010 at 3:16 am
Hi fivetill55,
I know you’ve done a tremendous job bucking the odds. By getting straight A in school, it shows you’ve got what it takes to go far in life. But can you do one more thing? Did it ever occured to you that as miserable your life is right now, your dad is far worse off & even more miserable than you?? Obviously the divorce took away the light in his eyes. He’s like a wandering sheep, looking for new direction, but couldn’t seem to see the light. For once, stop thinking about yourself & think about him for a change. Your dad needs all the love, understanding & support from you. Believe me when he was talking with you, he felt shame about this incident. If there is someone who can help him recover, it’s the only person that meant everything to him, you. Just be non-judgmental & continue to love him. Call him up & keep in touch when he’s in jail. It takes a single revelation to turn a man’s life around. Just as it takes a single indiscretion to screw-up one’s life. The divorce pushed him down. Let your love & support pull him back up.
Comment by yellow on 10/01/2010 at 3:23 am
Continue to be that straight A student, and finish college or go to college, make yourself that outstanding achiever that you know you can be and continue to be . Because if he’s in that much illegal mess, he can’t help you out later, so make your choice.YOU DON’T WANT THAT HEARTACHE AND PAIN IN YOUR KIDS LIFE .IF YOU FOLLOW DOWN THAT PATH IF YOU DECIDE TO HAVE KIDS ONE DAY. KEEP THIS PIECE THAT I’M RESPONDING TO AND READ IT OUT ALOUD.You have a great potential. Remember your future is whatever you want in to be. or you can be your father(you know how your kids would feel, because you are going through it NOW
may God be with you.
Comment by happywjc on 10/01/2010 at 4:12 am
Sorry hon, but your daddies got some really big issues to work out before he can help you!! He’s not doing too well @ helping himself! A divorce, can be 1 of the most tramatic times in ones life!! But now there’s alot of FREE TIME, now what to do with it, sounds like he’s made some bad choices, and must pay the price!! PAY ATTENTION & LEARN FROM HIS MISTAKES!!!