I want to live with my dad, help?
Posted by adminApr 5
I really want to live with my dad. I feel uncomfortable at my mom’s house because she it still going out with the man that she cheated on my dad with and I know he is always at the house when I’m not. And also because my mom has a struggling alcohol addiction. I smell it in all the cups she leaves around the house. I feel bad because her dad, my grandpa, isn’t doing very well and is in the hospital and my grandma is now living with her. We just went to visit my brother who is gone for 2 months due to his depression and grudge against my mother because she cheated. When we were there she told the leader that she was sorry for her mistakes and that she was sober. That just isnt true! Yes, she was sober at the moment but she knew that wasnt what he meant. She had been drinking about half a week before that day. She says she is sorry for her mistakes but yet she is still going out with this horrid man who is the reason why our family is struggling. I want to live w/ my dad,butshewontletme
Help please! She says that she hasn’t done anything wrong but she doesn’t understand why I am so upset and I try to tell her but she just ignores it!
42 comments
Comment by duppy face on 04/05/2010 at 1:02 am
you cant always have it your way
Comment by Chillaxin on 04/05/2010 at 1:46 am
Tell your Dad you want to live with him..She can’t stand in your way
Comment by kreme on 04/05/2010 at 1:49 am
ask your dad if he can take custody of you
Comment by Marie Q on 04/05/2010 at 2:25 am
oh god… honey you should see child services and they’ll help you
Comment by erik b on 04/05/2010 at 2:59 am
call your father and tell him that u wanna live with him.
then give it all you got to explain to ur mother that u just wanna live with ur dad and that she will still see from u
Comment by Lauren M on 04/05/2010 at 3:27 am
u should do what makes you happy. if you do something for someone else and it makes you miserable then theres no point to having your own life
Comment by £ £ £ £ £ £ on 04/05/2010 at 4:18 am
What’s your question?
You want to live with your dad? Then go live with him.
Comment by MelB on 04/05/2010 at 4:41 am
Talk to your dad. You shouldn’t have to deal with all of this on your own. Don’t feel bad because of your mom’s situation — she’s made her own choices. You really need to bring your dad into this. He will be able to open the dialogue with your mom and hopefully make her see what is wrong with the situation you’re living in now.
Comment by Coolio A on 04/05/2010 at 5:25 am
well, why won’t your dad let you live w/ him? tell him what you’re going through…and if that doesn’t work, then you need to find legal guardians…your mom’s addiction problems could really influence your life….and i hope you do go live w/ your dad soon. good luck.
Comment by Sami S. on 04/05/2010 at 5:46 am
Aww.. :[
Well, maybe you shud call your dad and tell him bout it.
It's probably better it adults talk about it face to face you know..?
Im feel so sorry for u.. <3
Hope things will turn out good for u!! :]
Comment by Iris R on 04/05/2010 at 6:12 am
Talk to your dad. Your mom is not in control right now and need to deal with her drinking problem. She will tell you what you want to hear to just go back and drink. But you need to include you father and address all your concerns.
Good Luck and what ever you do make sure it is for yourself and not your mom. Only she will be able to stop drinking.
Comment by Laurie on 04/05/2010 at 6:37 am
How old are you, honey? If you’re on YA! I’m assuming you’re at least thirteen years old. Explain the situation to your dad. Ask him if he can help you request a court hearing to be allowed to live solely with your dad. When you turn fourteen you can request a hearing without parental consent. It’s really the only way to do it legally. You really need to bring your dad into this; you can’t do it alone. If your mom is scaring you, or if she or her new boyfriend are becoming a threat to you, you have every right to request a court hearing. Your safety & welfare comes first.
If you prefer, you can also talk to another trusted adult like a school teacher or counsellor. *hugs* You can do this, sweetie! Just hang in there. No matter what there is always someone out there who cares about you.
XOXO,
Laurie
Comment by Terran on 04/05/2010 at 7:14 am
First off i want to say sorry i would maybe talk to your school counceler or call your dad and see if they could work somthing out
Comment by scottp5657 on 04/05/2010 at 7:29 am
Talk to your Dad about it. If your Mom won’t let you go live with him, have him get involved. If she still refuses to let go, he may have to go to court over this, or social services.
I’m very sorry you’re struggling, and I hope things get better for you.
Comment by deutschprinzessin34 on 04/05/2010 at 8:21 am
You need to get out! Tell your dad say dad i really need to get out! Alcohol is not good something bad could happen! Even more with her loser boyfriend. And if your dad doesnt listen tell your aunts , uncles, cousins, and if anything bad happens (not saying it will) but call the police! GOOD luck!
Or tell your school! They help! Im sorry you had to go through this! XOOXOXOXO
Comment by Heretic_13 on 04/05/2010 at 9:12 am
how old are you? if your a teenager your dad can take her to court and you can tell the judge who you feel is best for you to live with..they will most likely listen to you..
you should tell the judge about her alchohal problem too
good luck
Comment by grneyedgrly on 04/05/2010 at 9:32 am
I’m currently going through a divorce and I know firsthand that the judge will do what is in THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD. You need to talk to your dad and let him know what’s going on. Does your dad know you want to live with him? Is he able to care for you? If your mom is struggling with an alcohol problem I would tell someone else who can do something about it like a teacher or something. This will get the courts attention because most likely they will send someone to your home to investigate. But I strongly suggest you speak to your dad. He could possibly take your mom to court over this and with you as a witness they would prob let you live with your father.
Comment by Anthony C on 04/05/2010 at 10:13 am
i agree with the other persons answer. but, that person should also have some sympathy. (talking about the duppy face guy) things will get better.
Comment by Kat on 04/05/2010 at 11:06 am
Talk with your dad and ask him for some help. Tell your mom simply ‘Mom you have cheated and have not gotten help for your alcohol problem. I can’t live like this anymore, and I AM going to live with my fatehr. He can care for me better and can see what is in my best intrest.’ and preferably get out of the house soon after that. Good luck, I am really sorry that you are having to go through this and deal with all of this. Again, good luck I hope everything works out for you.
Comment by LOVELY LIZ on 04/05/2010 at 11:35 am
PLEASE SPEAK TO YOUR DAD ABOUT THIS YOU SEEM TO KNOW WAT U WANT AND HE MAY LISTEN…DONT STAY IN THIS HOUSE WEN U DONT HAVE TO…GO TALK TO DAD AND MAKE HIM LISTEN CAUSE THERE MAY NOT BE ANYONE ELSE…DO THIS FOR ME A BATTERED WIDOW WITH 6 KIDS…….TELL SOMEONE I WISH I HAD
Comment by missourim43 on 04/05/2010 at 12:06 pm
You dont say your age, but it sounds like living with your dad would be a better environment for you. Minors can get “emancipated” which would grant your dad and you certain rights. Best to have your dad check with a family practice lawyer. How does he feel about all this?
Comment by monkeydick on 04/05/2010 at 1:03 pm
it is a custody issue. your mom and dad have little to say unless they actually agree on it and even then the court has to decide it is in your best interests.
Comment by Martha Y on 04/05/2010 at 1:23 pm
alcoholics will never admit that they are alcoholics and your mother needs help
Comment by SunnyMoon on 04/05/2010 at 1:53 pm
In most states, courts will allow children over the age of 12 to choose which parent they live with as long as that parent is not unfit.
If you are under age 12, talk to your father. Maybe he can work things out with your mom for you. Also, try telling your mom that you only live with your father temporarily.
Good Luck. I can’t imagine how hard all this is for you.
Comment by WilmaF on 04/05/2010 at 2:04 pm
Talk to your father about this. Talking to your mom doesn’t do anything from the sound of it.
Comment by Wondering about things on 04/05/2010 at 2:40 pm
talk to both your mom and dad about it tell them what you really feel and that you want to live with your dad. also try talking to counselors or teachers about the problems at home they will help you deal with the stress u must be going through.
Comment by Ashley Tisdale Fan on 04/05/2010 at 3:34 pm
have you told her how you feel? If it is really bad, can you call your dad and speak to him about anything? i REALLY hope this works.
Comment by inkmama on 04/05/2010 at 4:09 pm
You need to talk to your dad or another trusted adult about how you are feeling. Unfortunately your mom is going thru a difficult time in her life and not dealing with it as best as she could. If she has a close friend or sister maybe they could talk to your parents for you. Please keep in mind that life isn’t always for parents and we all make mistakes.
Comment by Boston_Irish on 04/05/2010 at 4:16 pm
I’m just curious, how old are you? Your reasons sound legit. Perhaps you can try to get a Lawyer to speak on your behalf. I don’t know myself how you would go about doing that but I have heard many times that young people have done this. Hopefully someone has a better answer for you.
Good luck and keep your chin up.
Comment by DrPhilamina on 04/05/2010 at 4:29 pm
Does your mom actually have custody of you? If she doesn’t and your dad wants to have you, I would just pack my bags and go. If she does have custody of you, then you need to speak to your dad about him going back to court and fighting for you. You could also call social services and tell them about your mom’s drinking, You can’t do much about your mom cheating on your dad, just know that adult relationships are complicated and not something that you will understand until you’re much older; but no child should have to live with an alchoholic. Write a letter to Dr. Phil, maybe he can help http://www.drphil.com/
Comment by sapphiregirl on 04/05/2010 at 4:35 pm
Well, if you’re over 13 years of age, you can seek help with the courts. By law, by a certain age, you may be able to decide who you want to live with. If your dad has expressed that he’s willing for you to live with him, then if I were you, I would go for it. If your parents aren’t divorced, there probably is no custody order in place. Therefore, you can decide who you want to live with. It isn’t healthy for you to live this way. I can reason with you because my parents are broken up and I was in the same situation. Hang in there, you’ll get through it.
Comment by Maria P on 04/05/2010 at 4:36 pm
It sounds like you actually need legal help, depending on how old you are. You my be old enough to decide for yourself which parent you want to live with, and it also depends on what your father thinks about the situation. Another issue is if your parents are divorced or seperated…there are several factors involved when a child of a broken marriage wants to change the situation.
Comment by princessmezee on 04/05/2010 at 5:17 pm
i thin k u should have a converstation wit ur dad telling him how u feel and wats going on in your house then u should ask if could take custody of u tell him wats wrong and dont hold back
Comment by Patti_Ja on 04/05/2010 at 6:09 pm
Hi…how are you doing….sorry you are struggling so…but there is an organization that can help you…it is called alateen…and you sound like you could use some help. Please look this organization up in your town and make a phone call to talk to someone….I know that you are very angry and hurt right now and you have to know that you are not alone…
http://www.al-anon.org/alateen.html
Comment by Julia S on 04/05/2010 at 7:07 pm
I’m sending you some mental hugs. This is difficult.
How old are you? You have the legal right to choose who you live with at a certain age (I believe it varies from state-to-state).
Is there a counselor at school you can talk to about these things? School counselors are great allies for this and what you say is confidential. (There are some exceptions that deal with being in danger/causing harm to yourself or others… ask before you talk.) The school counselor would be able to give you great advice about moving to your dad’s and perhaps know of some resources for dealing with your mother’s alcoholism as well.
Comment by CLIFTON P on 04/05/2010 at 7:08 pm
Please speak to your Dad on this matter. Depending on your age and the state you live in it maybe up to you but your Dad would know.
I understand this is hard for you. Adults make mistakes also. But because I was drinking is not a good enough excuse. Is this horrid man doing anything to you and your brother that he should not?
If he is immediately get in touch with your dad and the police.
You may have to come to terms with the way your mother is and there will be no help for her until she wants that help. However you should not suffer for that.
If her drinking is bad as you say you could call children’s protective services and have them interven.
Comment by antoine r on 04/05/2010 at 7:27 pm
go
Comment by SpongeBob Squarepants :) on 04/05/2010 at 8:19 pm
Call Dadda and ask him to come take you away. Or you can always call the police
Comment by pushstroke on 04/05/2010 at 8:37 pm
In the meantime join Ala-teen. Don’t be too judgmental and practice tolerance in regards to your mom’s drinking and her boyfriend. Try and have a heart to heart with your mom when she is sober, let her know how you feel about her drinking and ask her what the problem was with your dad, but don’t condemn her. Try to get to know her boyfriend better and treat him with respect, you never know, you might see that he is a good guy. Alcoholism is a disease and can only be treated successfully when an alcoholic admits to themselves they have it. Love her in spite of herself. I’ll bet her boyfriend drinks too. Like the old adage, misery loves company. Whatever you do, don’t start blaming or laying a guilt trip on your mom, that may make things even worse.
Comment by grams on 04/05/2010 at 9:20 pm
its sounds like to me that your mom needs help. that is something you can do. look in you phone book their is listing to get help. you mom is crying deep down inside for help.
Comment by dreamer on 04/05/2010 at 9:32 pm
i bet that is really tough for you. its hard to forgive the people that hurt our family and relationship with one another. It is good that you know right from wrong. some kids look at their parents and become just like them. it sounds like you are tought well. Anyways I’m sorry about your brother. Talk to him though. Tell him everyhting that you would like but try to talk happy things with him…so you both can cheer up a little. and as for living with your mom, talk to your father about it. He can help with the case. He has equal rights as your mom (maybe Even more since I’m guessing he doesn’t drink like your mom). It is hard to have a mother like this because mothers are known to be with the kids more, but the best thing to do is remember what you have and all the happy things that have and will happen to you. Talk to your dad a lot and remind him that you dint feel right with your mother. I hope that your brother gets better, i hope you live with your dad, and i hope your mother realizes that she should stop drinking because it is affecting you. maybe if you live with your dad, she will realize it. i hope everything goes well and i hope i helped! good luck with it. i hope you get what you want.
Comment by marianne n on 04/05/2010 at 9:37 pm
How old are you and what state do you live in?
In some states, depending on age you can file a specific form that will allow you to make known your preference for which parent you live with.
It is called an “Affidavit for Preference”. Basically it means that you would like the court to acknowlege your decision to live with another parent. It does not mean the court will grant it, but it will give you an opportunity to speak with a judge, and have your feelings be heard.