i need help to get my dad help with alcohol!?
Posted by adminDec 31
my dad has been an alcoholic for like 30 years, hes 53 now and all does is drinks all day everyday. he doesnt think he has a problem but me and family cant really talk to him about it because he will get mad and denie he has a problem, i dont know how long he can go on like this. i dont know how to talk to him about it. all i do is worry about him but i dont want to make him mad which i know will happen if i talk to him about it.
2 comments
Comment by Jessica on 12/31/2010 at 11:41 pm
You can try to get him help, but until he’s ready to quit drinking, it won’t do any good. About the best you can do is to try to find help for yourself, to learn how to live with an alcoholic. The first rule is, to quit nagging. Seriously. Nagging and attempting to shame him into quitting will only make things worse. Even if you locked him up, and didn’t let him have access to booze, and he got dried out…he’d go right back to drinking as soon as he was released. So unless you intend to lock him up, and keep him locked up for the rest of his life, you can’t make him quit drinking.
It’s understandable that you and your family want to help. But about the best you can do is to not enable him. This means that nobody gives him money (he’ll spend it on booze), and nobody buys him booze, and nobody gives him booze. It also means that everyone tries to be supportive when he’s actively trying to quit, or at least cut down. Have alternative drinks (iced teas and sodas and coffee and hot tea) for whenever he’s thirsty. Have activities for him. And do go to therapy, with or without him.
You and the family need to understand that he might have a physical addiction to alcohol. If he quits cold turkey, he might go through the DTs (delirious tremors, I think is the medical name for it), which can involve hallucinations, trembling, and all sorts of other unpleasant physical side effects. This stage can be helped, medically, but I’m not sure of the exact way that they do it. I’ve had a couple of alkie friends go through medical detox, and while they said they were glad to be dried out, they didn’t want to talk about the detox procedures.
There’s no magic pill. Interventions work only very, very rarely, and usually only if the addict is about ready to quit on his own. Interventions are very dramatic, and some people make a lot of money by doing them, and that’s why they get a lot of publicity. But the only person who can get your father to quit drinking alcohol is your father. I wish I had a better answer for you (I could make a billion dollars if I did).
Comment by Noccie on 01/01/2011 at 12:30 am
You can’t do a thing to help him, but you can learn how to cope with him and his alcoholism by going to Al-anon or alateen meetings. Do a Google search to find a group nearby – you will be happy you did!