I don’t know what to do. Please help give advice.?
Posted by adminApr 30
My husband and I have been married for six years. He is an alcoholic. He was in AA and was doing well when we met and married. He has fallen off the wagon many times over the past six years. We lived in another state and he was drinking all the time. So drunk he couldn’t stand or talk. He promised me that if I would move back “home” with him that he’d show me that he would stop for good. He even said he’d go to AA here. But we have been here for a month and a half now and he is drunk really bad tonight. He’s been in trouble in this state before. He spent six mos in jail long before we met for drunk driving habitual. I just talked to him because he is three hours late coming home from work. He is blind drunk. I am not a drinker so I don’t understand. I am sick with a very serious disease if I get stressed. I am trying not to let this stress me really bad tonight but he may or may not come home. He has expired plates on his car and he is drunk. If he goes to jail, I will not stay married to him but in the same sense, I can’t pay my rent and I’m unable to work. I’ve applied for social security but haven’t heard anything yet. I don’t know what to do. Should I just go ahead and wait up for him and just not say anything to him until tomorrow? Should I call the police so that when he does get here, he can’t stay? I just don’t know anymore. He broke that promise after he cried and cried and begged me to come up here with him. He said it was going to be different because he was going to be happy. I am in my 40s and I’m not a kid. But I’ve never had to deal with this before in my life until I met him. Do you have any advice? Please? I am sick and afraid. I don’t know if I can make it on my own. He just came in and fell on the floor because he can’t stand up. He is not acting drunk as much as he is acting drugged. He has done many types of drugs according to him before and he has also done some very bad things to me emotionally in the past when my father lay in the hospital dying on life support..my husband went out and done a bunch of coke and didn’t go home for two days. He has stolen and taken my pain medication where I had to just take the pain because of it. He said he loves me but I have my doubts now. Thank you for reading and please don’t say anything too harsh to me because I don’t think I can take it anymore. I just can’t and I don’t understand why I am still alive. But I do want to be. I love my children but I only have one left that is under 18 now.
4 comments
Comment by Love Changes Everything on 04/30/2010 at 8:09 pm
I’m so sorry for all the pain you’re going through. Be strong, for your kids. I want to help, but I think that the best thing that you can do is to have someone to talk to in person. You may write me, of course… but I am sure that you have someone to support you in person through this…family, or talk to a minister, or priest. You don’t have to be a member of their congregation, it is part of their job to comfort the afflicted… anyone who is suffering.
Hang in there, everyone has moments of being so overwhelmed by problems that they can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel… but the tide eventually turns.
Comment by ice on 04/30/2010 at 8:44 pm
I feel really bad for you right now. I would just let him lie on the floor dont say anything to him tonite. I would hide your pain medicine or lock it up so he cant get it. If he loved you he would try a little harder to quit drinking. Is there some place you can go with your child. You can talk to a church person to see if they can give you advice on where you can get help and try to move out or make him move out. Be strong and safe.
Comment by william_xavier6001 on 04/30/2010 at 9:24 pm
I would really much like to help you, but unfortunately, i can’t and am only here to (hopefully able) give you some advice..
Im not from your country, wherever that may be, cause i’m in no idea what’s an AA mean.But i really sympathize with your situation. Don’t they have any bodies/organizations that you could get contact with regarding this matter? I’m really sorry, but i don’t think he’s worth your time and effort. You’re sick and he’s drunk, i don’t think that complements very well. You really need someone that could take care of you. You’re not going to be any of younger, i really don’t wish to hear or know that you weren’t any happy in this life even until your very last breath. Believe me, i myself wouldn’t die in peace. What i wanna say is that, don’t think of ending your life, it leads no where and it doesn’t solve anything. Furthermore, you have a kid, which i believe you would love to see him/her grow up and lead a happy life. Be strong! Think of your kid…may God Bless you and your kid and family with LOVE, HOPE, STRENGTH, HEALTH, WEALTH.
Comment by Taf on 04/30/2010 at 10:15 pm
In my opinion your needs must come first. Think long term. Not short term inconvenience. Get help, not for him, but for you. You have enough energy in your 40′s to do whatever you need to and survive it, even though you may be uncomfortable for a while, but do you want to be making drastic changes in your 60′s.
I am 25 yrs sober. Don’t waste your time with someone who won’t stop drinking. If he stops, fine – if he doesn’t you may have a long wait, like never. Sorry to be negative, but it’s reality.