HELP! I’m a mormon and i’m addicted to porn/gay/masturbation! I want to stop. HELP! PLEASE!?
Posted by adminDec 31
Okay, I do know that the LDS church is true. I totally believe it. But I look at porn sometimes and masturbate alot. Sometimes I watch gay stuff too, which makes me feel worse. I’m addicted. You’ll probably say ‘go to your bishop’ but I can’t cuz he’s my dad and he’s really strict. Someone please help, I’m really trying to stop.
32 comments
Comment by Deuce on 12/31/2010 at 11:34 pm
Everyone goes through that. I went through that. Pray.
Comment by cadisneygirl76 on 12/31/2010 at 11:56 pm
I dont really know what to say. You just have to stop. Whenever you get those urges why dont you head to the gym or go take a jog. It might get some frustration out of your system. You will also get into great shape.
Comment by Justsyd on 01/01/2011 at 12:33 am
It sounds like you’re a typical teenager. Don’t worry about it. It’s normal.
Comment by Conan the Grammarian on 01/01/2011 at 12:58 am
Which do you want to stop, the church or the more amusing stuff?
Comment by Dr. R PhD in Revolution on 01/01/2011 at 1:24 am
why feel bad? go with whatever floats your boat. and if you really wanna kick this addiction get another addiction: smoking, drinking etc
Comment by beer drinking lemur on 01/01/2011 at 1:45 am
You sound Gay( no offense), leave the church before you have real mental problems.
Comment by Loathing on 01/01/2011 at 2:39 am
if you want to stop doing something..
keep yourself busy and just dont do it.
Comment by Ms. Taurus on 01/01/2011 at 3:13 am
You were even allowed to have potential access to such stuff?
Self control and willpower are good traits to strengthen and have, practice them more then the other, uh, activities…
Comment by Groucho on 01/01/2011 at 3:36 am
Repent of your wickedness and Move on with your life. Do not repeat the sins of the past!!
Live as Christ wants you to live.
Comment by Big Solly Reduxioli AM on 01/01/2011 at 3:44 am
Get a special friend, and watch together.
Comment by LiP on 01/01/2011 at 3:46 am
HAHHAHAHA you are one funny dude. I would pay fat cash to watch you tell daddy the truth.
Comment by kevin on 01/01/2011 at 4:15 am
Try not to go overboard with that stuff, but more importantly – ditch religion!
Comment by kellygirlaj on 01/01/2011 at 4:18 am
First, LDS is not found in the Bible, so there’s no point in believing in it.
Second, when you feel the urge to look at porn, STOP. Find something else to look at or something else to do. WALK AWAY! If there is anyone else you can talk to about this problem, please do so. Leave your dad out of it.
Good luck.
Comment by Lion of Judah on 01/01/2011 at 4:27 am
You just can not get the help you need on a forum like this..
You need someone who will help you to be accountable and will work with you to keep you accountable.. Someone you know where you live..
Second I think you also need deliverance as you can pick up spirits doing porn.
Comment by fa t on 01/01/2011 at 4:57 am
Not every one who saith unto me , Lord Lord shall enter into the Kingdom of Heaven , but he that doeth the will of My Father , who is in Heaven . Many will say in that day “Lord , Lord , have we not prophesied
in thy name ? And in thy name cast out demons ? And in thy name done many wonderful works ? And then will I profess to them , I never knew you ; depart from me , ye that work iniquity
Comment by flyleaffan on 01/01/2011 at 5:29 am
CRY out to God. he is the only one could help you out. talk to him more and more.
Comment by favoritefood0 on 01/01/2011 at 6:16 am
Why stop? Its the STRONGEST EVER DRIVE YOU WILL EVER HAVE. Don’t deny it. There is nothing wrong with porn or masturbation.
More importantly, ditch your religion, then you won’t feel bad about your own body. You’d feel as you SHOULD.
Comment by tomleah_06 on 01/01/2011 at 7:11 am
It is perfectly natural to do what you do and your religious affiliation is of little relevance regarding it.
Comment by endavis02 on 01/01/2011 at 7:33 am
This almost sounds like a joke posting. just come out of the closet already and get it over with. you don’t need to give people tools to mock other churches online.
Comment by Lisa on 01/01/2011 at 8:19 am
how good is good enough to “be saved” according to your mormon beliefs?
your struggle doesnt matter if you dont seek to please the true God of the bible…
See, you cant fight the temptation on your own…because, its just that, you dont have the spirit of God, like declared in the bible to stregenthen you….YOU cant do it in yourself….get a grip on what i am saying….seek to find who God is in the Bible and that God will change your heart, and sin wont be so desireable….thats is the work of God, not yourself…
email me if you wanna talk some more.
Comment by Denver Mike on 01/01/2011 at 8:26 am
I’m not trying to be funny but if God didn’t want you to masturbate he would have made your arms 2 feet long.
You’d never reach.
I’m not here to knock on religion by as means but so what, you beat the meat from time-to-time…so what.
If it’s affecting your life as in you start doing it at work or the drive thru when getting dinner, get some mental health professional to talk to.
If its something you do to relax or pass the time, do it.
In other cultures (tribal) they actually encourage it.
For example, in the USA if a kid is being disruptive or generally annoying a parent usually says to “go outside” or “go watch tv” in these other cultures parents would actually say – “Go masturbate”
I can’t properly reference the article I’m thinking of but there are health benefits to “releasing”
If a book told me not to play with my trouser snake I probably wouldn’t read the book. YOU ARE NORMAL.
Don’t let the ladies tell you they don’t do it, they do.
As for getting help, if its affecting your day-to-day life like I mentioned before, then you talk to another person in the church. If you just smack it around and you still function and get through your day, just use lube so you don’t get all chapped.
Remember – Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
Good luck!
Comment by moonman on 01/01/2011 at 9:21 am
Honestly, you really can go to your dad. Even if he is strict he will help you. The LDS church also has programs to help people addicted to anything including this I believe. If you truly don’t think you can talk to your dad (bishop) about it, I suggest seeing if maybe you can talk to your stake president, although your bishop (dad) is the one really set apart to help you with this.
I can tell you from experience that even if you think your parents will be mad at you, they will really try to help you with whatever problems you face. I survived the teenage years and relied a lot on my parents, because I wasn’t perfect either.
A couple of suggestions to you aside from seeking church counsel:
1) ask you parents about getting a filter on your computer. You can tell them whatever you want to to get it, but this will probably help you stop. My institute teacher told us the name of one that the church uses on all of their computers, but I can’t remember it, you can probably talk to a seminary teacher to find out what they use. I think you can download it for free, but make sure that someone else knows the password, not you, as filters sometimes block sites that you need to get to for school or even lds.org is blocked by some filters for some reason.
2. Get a copy of the book The Miracle of Forgiveness. I believe it is written by President Kimball. It is really a good book about repentance.
Finally, I encourage you strongly to take care of it now. No matter how hard it is. It will be worth it, and you can do it.
Comment by Richard L on 01/01/2011 at 9:23 am
Ok pal….seams you are in a hot spot…especially cuz your father is a bishop in your church. Respectfully, I answer your question with my belief….I trust Jesus Christ as my Savior…I am born again….I am a Christian…I know that it is FREE to accept Jesus into my heart…I do not have to go into the bottom of a church and pray for dead people! Jesus will deal with that when he returns. John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotton son, that whoever believes in him, will not persish but have eternal life! Ephesians 6:10-20 Put on the Armor of God
Comment by Molly S on 01/01/2011 at 10:04 am
try this
http://www.foundationsforlife.org/helpinchrist/youth.html
Comment by imasis2 on 01/01/2011 at 10:20 am
http://www.purelifeministries.org/
Is a Christian organization dealing with sexual sin and addictions. You can also contact a Christian Rescue mission for help, as they help addicts of all types.
I pray that you will be able to overcome this sin and addiction.
Comment by idaho gal on 01/01/2011 at 10:21 am
Moonman has some great advice. But I am going to add this. Call you Stake President. Get a referral to LDS social services and call them to find out when they have their group addicts meeting (NA, AA, SA). They do understand that an addiction is more then just needing to buck up. If you were not addicted you could stop. They will help you and get you counseling if this is what you want. If you can not afford it they will take care of the cost for you. I really suggest that you go. It will help you with so many other aspects of your life. Your Dad has others with similar problems already seeing him for help so I am sure he could help also. But I understand your not wanting to talk to him.
Comment by Bartolomeo on 01/01/2011 at 10:27 am
Addiction is addiction is addiction.
It’s very easy to see this in addictive behaviors that entail the consumption of something (i.e. alcohol consumption, illicit drug use, binge eating, etc), yet it’s not so easy to see this in other non-consumptive behaviors (i.e. pornography viewing, masturbation, gambling, and believe it or not: road rage).
Such things are addictive because they exaggerate, inhibit, or mimic neuron (brain cell) firing and with increased exposure one’s brain becomes not only accustomed but preferential to the changed state. Since addiction is a physiological (and subsequently neurological) condition there is no quick, clean fix: IT TAKES TIME, PACIENCE, AND DETERMINATION.
The only way to deal with ANY addiction is to simply stop performing the addictive behavior and give your brain time to cope with the change back to normalcy. The bad news is your addiction never really “goes away”, you just stop being aware of it. YOU MUST REALIZE THIS because once anyone becomes addicted to something and quits partaking in such; s/he will always have the capacity to slip right back into the behavior if and when s/he relapses. (This is why an alcoholic is considered an alcoholic even if it has been 30+ years since his/her last drink).
Enter proactivity!:
As I stated earlier there is no way to just cure addiction over night nor is there really any way to speed the process of rehabilitation. There ARE however ways to cope:
1. Substitute your maladaptive behavior for something else: An orgasm is essentially a rush of endorphins (the brain’s natural pain killer). This is pretty much where the addiction lies (along with other minor neurotransmitters such as seritonin). But endorphins aren’t only secreted when one has an orgasm. Exercise has the same effect (to a minimal degree). Try going for a jog, or kicking the soccer ball around when you feel the urge to…. you know.
2. Use sensational cues that will remind you why you want to abstain from such behavior:
Back when I was trying to quit smoking and drinking, I glued pictures of the temple in all of my ashtrays. Quitting was no cake walk! There were hundreds of times I thought to myself “Oh forget it! One cigarette can’t hurt” but when I’d grab by ashtray I’d get a glimpse of the reason why I wanted to quit in the first place and end up putting the ashtray back. My friend who had the same problem as you quit looking at porn by having “Choose the Right” as his desktop image on his computer.
3. Avoid situations which typically incite the behavior:
Big meals cause the desire to smoke to increase. Big flashing neon lights tend to increase a gambler’s desire to go play a round. Likewise I bet there are situations that increase your desire to masturbate and/or look at porn. Identify such situations and avoid them the best you can. If certain movies, TV shows, or music increase the urge, then stop watching/listening to them. If you always get the urge at a certain time of the day, make it a habit to do something else at that time.
Now that I gave you the objective advice on addiction, I have to share my subjective Mormon advice:
Don’t under-estimate the power of a Bishop. He’s been ordained to serve YOU! Put him to use! lol. God gave us “Saints” these ministers in order to “perfect us” knowing that there are so many things in this life that can sneak up on us and consume us without even realizing it. It’s very easy in a state of pride to think that you can overcome anything and everything on your own. If that were the case, there would be no need for a savior let alone a church. I understand that your familiar relationship with your Bishop leaves you reluctant to talk to him. Try talking to another Bishop, or maybe your Stake President. All in all, best of Luck.
Comment by Brother G The Mormon on 01/01/2011 at 11:27 am
Go to your stake President then if you can’t go to the bishop, who is your father.
Comment by bustaboy34 on 01/01/2011 at 11:41 am
I was in the same situation, and i can really relate. the extent of my condition had me masturbating somtimes 5 times aday. how did i resolve it ? i said right enough is enough, i know this is bad for me, i know its not good for my health, and i know theres more to life ! i threw away all my porn dvds, deleted all my videos from my hard drive and really tried to commit. it worked, and i hope it works for you. if you have the ability then nothing will come in your way but yourself.
Comment by Elder Dalton on 01/01/2011 at 12:03 pm
Just stay away from a guy name Frank aka Rice and Cheese he has the same addiction as you.
Comment by helpyoubeyondhelp on 01/01/2011 at 12:12 pm
How to avoid porn addiction on the Internet
1. Consider installing porn content filtering software( Strongly Recommend NetDog Porn Filter,you can get it from http://www.netdogsoft.com ) on your computer. it will help to protect you from stumbling into pornography by accident, That’s important.
2. Do not try to guess what the address of a Web page is. Many pornographic sites have similar addresses of respectable sites. For example www . whitehouse . com is a porn site. The real address is www. whitehouse . gov
3. Never click on Web site addresses that you receive in an unsolicited email.
4. Do not open attachments that come in email that are unsolicited.
5. Use filtered search engines or reputable directories to find the information you need.
6. Do not search for terms like girls. Think before you enter a search term.
Stick with reputable sites.
If something looks questionable, don’t let curiosity get the best of you. Delete it or close the window.
Internet Porn Filter Resource:
http://www.netdogsoft.com
Comment by the norrispenguin on 01/01/2011 at 12:40 pm
An inclination towards pornography and masturbation are completely normal. Unfortunately, however, these can become addictions for many people.
I completely sympathize with you on wanting to be completely in line with the Church on this count. Doing so would be better than the slavery to these things that you now experience. However, I think you need to reason with yourself a little bit.
These things are natural. Male ejaculation is a natural thing. If you don’t produce it through sex, masturbation, or other (more creative) activities, it will just happen on its own at night, producing subconscious frustration and conflicting feelings. Before this happens, though, you may experience soreness and discomfort. Masturbation is sometimes (not always, or even often) the best way to relieve sexual tension, but only you have the power to decide how much is too much, or how often is too often.
I am assuming you are unmarried. Since I am married, I rarely even have to contemplate this situation. However, I would suggest that you take this all with a grain of salt and consider a few things:
1. Porn (even gay porn), coupled with masturbation, is much safer than unprotected, promiscuous sex
2. You aren’t expected to be perfect. You are expected to have honest intentions and to be in control of yourself. Just like the straw that broke the camel’s back, if you are too dependent on a natural urge, it can hurt you
3. A more realistic goal (say, one good masturbation session per week) might be more attainable than trying to stop cold turkey, and might help you strike (no pun intended) the appropriate balance between physical/sexual and spiritual well-being in your life
4. The LDS Church is “true” in the same way the Catholic Church is “true”: both teach good moral values, but are not necessarily all-authoritative. Focus on establishing a good, solid inner peace within yourself and with God, regardless of what clerical leaders dictate. You won’t be judged by your bishop/father.
5. Depression is responsible for tearing apart far more families than pornography or masturbation ever will. Any couple or family can survive even the most horrendous of challenges if both parties stay above depression and are willing to work at it. For some couples, porn and masturbation are off-limits. For others, they are useful tools to enhance marital relations. This will be for you and your wife to decide one day, and having control over how often you engage in such activities will be of great benefit when making this decision with her.
Now, to gain control:
1. Make a list of priorities. Yes, actually write a physical list. Number them in order of importance. Next to each priority, write down a habit or two that will contribute to that priority. One of these priorities might be sexual satisfaction. This is not evil. This is perfectly normal and healthy, and God wants you to have this. Masturbation may even contribute to this.
2. Next to each habit, identify an appropriate amount of time (per week, day, month, etc) that should be dedicated to each of these habits. You might have a minimum and/or a maximum; for instance: [Priority: stress-reduction; activity: observation of nature; time: two to three hours per week]
3. Keep a day planner (or some other type of schedule) to track each of these activities, including your porn and masturbation. Learn to hold yourself to your own standards. Track your performance, and make necessary revisions. If you spend more time on one activity than you had anticipated/planned/hoped, consider what other useful activity you gave up in order to pursue the one you chose instead. Look at what you gained from that activity, and compare it to what you could have gained from the originally planned activity. Maybe those 20 extra masturbation minutes could have been used to be slightly more thorough in your semester project, raising your grade from a B to a A-, or something like that.
Above all else, establish a reward system for yourself. Maybe you want to start saving for a guitar or something. Each time you stay below your weekly time allowance for masturbation, contribute $5 to your “guitar fund.” Maybe instead of a guitar, it might be a weekly Frosty at Wendy’s.
Anyway, this addiction is like an addiction to gambling, pizza, chocolate, TV, or whatever. In moderation, and when you control it, it can contribute to a well-balanced life. However, when you let it control you, you become unhappy and lose sight of other, more important goals.