daughter’s father has visitation rights, but he is drinking and doing drugs and I cannot prove it.?
Posted by adminSep 2
My daughter’s father and I have a court ordered custody arrangement. The father was an alcoholic and drug user, and after he completed rehab I agreed to let him have visitations. We live in different states so his family picks her up and takes her to there home hours away. We recently became on ‘good terms’ and he began telling me scary things via the phone (shooting someone up with meth, drinking alcohol, living with a guy who uses drugs, how his mother is messed up on alcohol and xanax.) I am in fear of letting my daughter go out to see him now, but I don’t have any proof as to what he is doing except for what he tells me over the phone, which makes it difficult to take him to court. He won’t say anything incriminating over text messages or on my answering machine either. What can I do to protect my daughter?
10 comments
Comment by bronzebabekentucky on 09/02/2010 at 12:53 am
without proof, they wont do much, talk to your attorney, see what can be done
Comment by Daisyhill on 09/02/2010 at 1:47 am
You should get a device that enables you to record telephone converstaions…but really if you petition for him to be drug tested then they’ll catch him out…see a lawyer!
Comment by tempest9949 on 09/02/2010 at 2:21 am
if at all possible go back to court and have a mandory drug test done by testing the hair. If the results come back that he in fact is using drung then ask the cort to suspend his visitaion until he recievies treatment for it.
Comment by cc's bad on 09/02/2010 at 3:17 am
Go back to court and have him subjected to random drug testing, if he shows up dirty then you won’t have to allow your daughter to see him at all. You as a mother must protect your child at all costs.
Comment by **dubbl3_d** on 09/02/2010 at 4:07 am
you should talk to the court about doing random drug testing,or drug testing him every week…if that doesnt work,you should get a tape recorder and try to record some of your conversations as proof to whats going on
Comment by <3 i♥Becks<3 ♥ on 09/02/2010 at 4:16 am
Record what he says! If you ever get the chance of talking to him in person, put a camera somewhere and record him. The most important thing is YOUR daughter. And if he is doing all of that, then why doesn’t he take a blood test? It’s efficient. It can tell what has he been putting on his body. I don’t know why the court didn’t order that. They can also examine his house, eh can have drugs hidden somewhere and you can demonstrate what kind of people he lives with!
The important thing is your daughter’s safety and health! Record him, and on your phone there MUST be a recording button or something. On Nokia phones there are. In a Nokia phone, when you talk to the person, you can go to menu I think, and go to tools or settings and just find record. IT has worked and my friends has a Nokia phone.
This situation is bad, but just get some proof. He has to go to a lab or record him on audio or camera!
Good luck and God bless
Comment by LittleBarb on 09/02/2010 at 5:15 am
UNLESS you inform your EX ON RECORD that you are tape recording this telephone conversations, you will NOT be able to use them in court against him…. if I were you, I’d hire a private Detective, have him get depositions from neighbors, places your ex frequents (bars)…. follow him around and take VIDEOS or STILL PICTURES of him doing drugs or drinking… ANYTHING that you can use in COURT as evidence against him…. even have the private detective interview his MOTHER–if the mother agrees to the interview, THAT can be taped and used…… But definitely discuss this with a lawyer first…. your DAUGHTER and her safety is your FIRST PRIORITY…..especially since he and HIS family live in another state.Setting him up? ILLEGALTalking to his family—–it’s HIS FAMILY and the only way HIS family gets to see your kids is to have the present arrangement—they won’t do a THING to help YOU if it means losing contact with their grandchildren….If you don’t do this through LEGAL MEANS, nothing will work and you might risk losing your daughter to a KIDNAPPING if his parents and he decide to gang up on you and TRUST ME, getting your child back when you live in a DIFFERENT STATE is pretty DIFFICULT if AT ALL POSSIBLE……
Comment by alicia c on 09/02/2010 at 5:52 am
set them up…make an annonimous call to the cop saying they have a meth lab in thier house…if he’s been busted befor they will take it serious…most likely they will find something
Comment by Adelle on 09/02/2010 at 6:06 am
Talk to his family “the ones who pick up the kid to take her to him” about the things he tells you, if they love your daughter they are the ones who will open up the can of worms.
Comment by Lwood on 09/02/2010 at 6:30 am
Well, let him talk and talk and talk and all the while record his conversations….he may think he’s smart for not discussing this over text or answering machines but he clearly hasn’t considered the possibility that there are other ways. Then take it to court and the judge will more than likely have him drug tested. You shouldn’t allow your daughter to go anywhere with him because it’s a fact that bad things happen to children when put in these types of enviroments.