Can I get help for an alcoholic father that is far beyond asking for his own help ?
Posted by adminFeb 21
My father is divorced , he is in need of medical attention for his alcoholism .
He threatens to commit suicide .
Where can we go for help ? He doesn’t want help . He can’t help himself .
7 comments
Comment by mlgable on 02/21/2010 at 6:59 pm
If he doesn’t want help there is no way you can force it on him. Untill he is deemed legally incompetent there is NOTHING you can do.
Comment by pugswifey on 02/21/2010 at 7:11 pm
i am a recovering alcoholic and addict. This is the hardest part…… You cant help at all. Your father will either end up in jail, prison, a mental institution or dead. It hurts and it hurts like hell but its between him and GOD. Its not yours or anyone Else’s choice. Its HIS CHOICE!!!! I will pray for you and your family For you, you can try some alanon meetings for you to help better understand the disease good luck and GOD BLESS
Comment by Ellen G on 02/21/2010 at 8:08 pm
I too am a recovering alcoholic. You and your family can not force your father to get help but you can find some help yourselves. Please look for Al-anon in your local phone book and start going to meetings. Al-anon will help you to understand the disease of alcoholism, to let go of your fathers illness and to love him and yourself. I wish you all the best as this is one of the hardest things to do…letting go with love.
Comment by kissy face on 02/21/2010 at 8:12 pm
The law really limits how much the family can do. If the person is competent, they can refused treatment. Sadly, the best thing to ever happen to drug users or alcoholic is to wind up in jail for one thing or another. Then the court orders intervention in some cases, like in a DUI. If you feel that your father is a danger to himself or others, you can contact the police and they may take him to a mental health facility, but it’s easy for him to talk his way out.
My father is an alcoholic. I used to get mad at him because we’d beg him to stop and he wouldn’t or say he would and not do it. Now I accept that people make their own choices in life and that’s the way it is. People only change when they can no longer accept the consequences of their actions.
Comment by JORGE N on 02/21/2010 at 8:17 pm
Your father has his own free will and decides to play the alcoholic game on his own. He doesn’t stop because he does not want to. You can clean him up when the game gets to the point where he needs the “savior” and as soon as that goes its round then he goes into some other mode, the persecuter or the savior or the lackey or some one or other of the roles that come with the game. He will play as long as it is convenient and soon you will see him back to the same old drunk as always. As long as it is his free will and as long as you are willing to play the part it will continue and probably for life. If you need to free yourself of this to get on with your life you probably need to move away or have him moved away where you can overcome and get your head oriented and free to move forward. It is too bad but that is life. I too and most everyone you know or see has somewhat of the same problem to some degree or other.
Try getting some help for yourself. Help that will get you on top and objective and safe from the vicissitudes of your most loved ones.
Comment by granny on 02/21/2010 at 8:36 pm
i am an alcoholic, but i haven’t had a drink in 2yrs. this past month. i finally just tired of being, sick and tired. i don’t know the situation in your house hold, but a lot of bickering and screaming will not help. i finally felt as if i was an embarresment to my whole family, and there is alot of things that is within each person that bothers them, he needs your love and support right now more than ever. each and every person is their own being, and know one knows what they truly feel inside. we all have something within ourselves that no one knows about. he is having his own battle, tell him you will help him with whatever he needs, maybe do more things with him to keep his mind occupied, go for lunch, have a picnic, help him with his house work, do something with him to let him know some one cares. these long drawn out conversations about his drinking is something he does not need. play a game of monopoly or do something or just watch a movie. may God Bless the both of You!
Comment by flowerlady60 on 02/21/2010 at 9:30 pm
If you are in school and under 18? you are being victimized by his addicition and can privately seek counseling. If you are out of the house, you can call a professional and have them discreetly meet with you, then do what is known as an intervention; I would strongly suggest NOT being the only child working this situation but get all sisters and brothers, nephews, cousins who are close to him and know his addiction into this with you. You know if someone threatens to commit suicide, they usually will try it. Don’t be shy, get help and don’t listen to his rantings about NOT wanting help. He really really does. He’s sick. You are not. Take action with other family members; if they are fearful of recrimination or just plain numb to the situation, call another family member. Do an intervention, soon.