Babies dad left me at 5 months pregnant, I’m scared?
Posted by adminSep 6
but I’m not sure if I want to put my baby up for adoption or not.
Him breaking up with me left me homeless, because we lived together – so I came home to my parents [I'm 21].
My dad is addicted to drugs and has been physically and verbally abusive – so I went to a womens shelter – They helped me find an apartment and helped me out financially – I just got hired part time at Canadian Tire – but the government is still going to be helping me with things; crib, diapers, etc.
The dad doesn’t want me to keep the baby. Thinks adoption is the best option.
I’ve got a good support system, but I admit I’m broke scared and in rough shape right now. I want to keep my baby, I want to love him and be the best mother I can be. But I feel like keeping him isn’t fair. I have this sinking suspicion that his father won’t be a part of his life, what if I can never afford a Chuck-E-Cheese birthday party? .. Will he hate me for not giving him a chance at a better life?
13 comments
Comment by mama becca on 09/06/2010 at 2:10 pm
I choose to keep my baby and I was 17 and pregnant in high school. Just because times are tough now, doesn’t mean that they always will be. As long as you have love to give, that’s what matters most. You just need to follow your heart. Good luck to you and if you ever want to chat, feel free to email me. Hugs and more hugs! And props to you for not aborting!
Comment by Lance on 09/06/2010 at 2:22 pm
listen..your going to be fine whether u keep him or not
if u give him away u may regret it for the rest of your life…i know, that u want to see him grow up..so do it
Comment by aries 4 lyfe on 09/06/2010 at 2:54 pm
When i was growing up we didn’t have a lot of money and sometimes i didn’t understand it. But up until my dad died we had lots and lots of love and that is what made me thankful that my mom kept me. If you have a good support team then you need to start making some money, SAVE IT!! Pay your bills and get groceries and that is it!! and keep this baby. Let the dad stay out of your life because he already bailed out on you and start over. Have a new beginning and a new life.
Comment by dlmrgnk on 09/06/2010 at 3:39 pm
Go to http://www.projectcuddle.org for help and suggestions.
No, your child will not hate you for not taking him to Chuck-E-Cheese because parents are always right to a child. But, if he is raised in a one-parent household, he will not learn about having two loving parents and that is very, very important for a child’s development into a functioning adult.
Comment by Joey R on 09/06/2010 at 4:33 pm
Your first priority has to be your child and what would be best for the both of you. I know it looks very desperate right now but you can get through this. Don’t worry about a Chuck-E-Cheese party. He won’t hate you as long as you show him you are doing everything you can to make sure you give him a chance to succeed. You can do this but go after the father in court for child support. He has a financial responsibility to that child.
There are plenty of SINGLE MOTHERS in this country who do a great job of raising FULLY FUCTIONING ADULTS. That is a shot at the moron who replied above me
Comment by jules on 09/06/2010 at 5:26 pm
keep the baby you will regret it and keep thinking about him/her all the time there is help out there it is just finding it but in the long run it is up to you and how you feel about a baby he/she is for life
Comment by bunanub on 09/06/2010 at 5:34 pm
You are still young and strong! God has blessed you with this baby. He deserves to have both parents. It is your boyfriend’s choice if he wants to be with the two of you. But my opinion is that your boyfriend doesn’t deserve you. You as a mother should provide him the love he deserves. I live in a country which social welfare is not functioning at all. If parents abandon their children, God knows what will happen to them. And believe me, there are some very strong mothers who fight with these rough life and try to provide for their children. You have the government to support you. Don’t do anything you might regret later.
Comment by simplyshy on 09/06/2010 at 6:01 pm
Precious,
The daddy or donor sperm…. sounds better.
a daddy loves his baby to life , and works hard and loves the mother of the baby without reservations.
he left you , wanted to make you get rid of the baby and you know he will never be in his life.
I never could afford the Chuck_-E-Cheese Birthday Party. …..my children are grown and respect me and what I could give them.
Its the time and energy that you give to them that they remember.
Close the door to the life with the donor sperm , he couldn’t make a half way father.
If you decided to give him up, he’ll search you out in 18 years wondering what his birth mother is like and why did you give me up, didin’t you love me………………..what will you say to your baby then……………please think about it. I believe in prayer, Gods word declare that He will be the Father to the Fatherless……….He will be there for you .
Comment by Jen on 09/06/2010 at 6:10 pm
Well if you’re broke, I don’t know why you’re on the internet and not looking for a job. And I certainly hope you’re not paying for using the internet.
Why worry about what the dad wants? He left. Screw him, not literally.
Your kid isn’t going to hate you or be upset for not getting a Chuck-E-Cheese birthday. Just make sure you remember his birthday. Work enough to get money, but don’t overwork where you’re never there for your child.
And just a word of advice: don’t date for a while. You’ll feel like you need a man in your life and a father for your son, but you could just end up pregnant with a man you though you loved and he’ll leave you with 2 kids with different dads that aren’t around (I’ve seen it happen on more than one occasion).
Comment by ♥Curly♥ on 09/06/2010 at 6:46 pm
I’m pregnant due in 2 1/2 weeks so I totally sympathize. My mom was a single mom and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. We had such a strong bond and she did a great job raising me by herself, as I’m sure you can do for your child. Do your best and love the child, that’s all the child needs. I do NOT recommend trying to keep any type of relationship with this loser that left you. For any reason. It is best for your child to not be hurt by him like you were.
I wish you and your child the best. God bless ♥
Comment by Nana64 on 09/06/2010 at 7:44 pm
We can all give you advice but no one can make that heart-rending decision for you; you must make that decision. There are a lot of pro and con reasons for raising your child as well as a lot of pro and con reasons for adoption. I know you are scared now and the future seems bleak but you have already made a courageous and loving decision by not choosing abortion. You are stronger than you think! I raised 3 children a a single parent and, yes, it was a struggle at times. But, I couldn’t ask for better kids, they turned out great! My youngest was the most difficult when it came to material things; at 15 she decided that she was the most disadvantaged child in the world because she wanted an expensive stereo system for Christmas and there was no way I could afford it. After weeks of pouting, pity parties, etc. I announced that I was cancelling Christmas since she didn’t appreciate what she had, took down the tree and hid the gifts. Christmas morning I took her (attitude and all) to the local Salvation Army to feed the homeless and underprivileged. After she got into the spirit of things, she was wonderful with the younger kids. On the ride home, she was silent for a while and then apologized: “Mom, I’ve got so much; did you know that the one present we gave out and dinner was all those kids will have for Christmas?” When we got home, the tree and gifts were back (thanks to my neighbor) and we had a wonderful Christmas. But, this was a lesson she never forgot (a couple of years ago she did something similiar with her children). As long as you have love and determination you can make a good life for you and your child!
Good luck
Comment by showpony on 09/06/2010 at 7:54 pm
life is hard and there are going to be ups and downs, this is a decision you are going to have to make, if you keep at it, you can give him a good life, a mothers love is forever, no one can give your baby that, rather the father is in the baby’s life, he will still have to pay for it.
Comment by clio on 09/06/2010 at 8:05 pm
Just love your son. Kids aren’t stupid. It’s the ones who don’t get enough love who whine and whine for ‘things’ like Chuck’e'cheese – and anyway all the kids are sick of it. The best birthday parties my kids ever threw or went to were the old fashioned kind with games and prizes, cake and jelly. Dollar store parties, I call them. Just don’t start buying into the whole competitve parent thing. If you love your kid you will be giving him/her the best possible start in life. So he/she can’t afford to play hockey – there’s always soccer! Rich in love is the best kind of wealth. There’s always Value Village for everything else! (and have you tried the Freecycle on Yahoo? Check it out.)