am i dumb to believe him? (long, but i appreciate your feedback)?
Posted by adminSep 30
ive recently gone through a lot, back and forth fighting between my parents, cocaine addicted mother, parents hating eachother, taking physical and emotional abuse from father, point is ive been hurt at least once by everyone in my life, even my bestfriend. so yeah i have trust issues, and this kid like hes not my type, cocky, player status, nothing id fall for, and i didnt intend to. he was just a friend but not a good one and we didnt have good conversation but then thanksgivign he asked whats wrong and ive been able to open up to him since, we talk all the time and idk hes sweet but its hard to believe hes being real sometimes. last night he said he was warning me if we were alone today he was going to make a move, and i was iffy on that, but then he started rambling on and throwing all this stuff out there, and to me it sounded like he wanted to be friends for now and he wasnt looking for a relationship, because hes had 3 gfs in a row in the last 3 or 4 months that all fucked him over, and hes like i probably sound like an asshole right now and i was like oh yeah. and as the conversation went on he added in that he didnt want to hurt me and he doesnt want me to get a bad rep by being “girl number four” and he wants to have something with me just take it slow, it doesnt make sense to me, its not like we were even dating we were good friends with an obvious attraction. anyways i dont trust people and hearing that really made me not even want to get involved, but at the same time every girl wants to give the guy a chance right? i dont know, he skipped his class to come to my study hall however two periods after he didnt even notice me walking down the hall, and i mightve heard him asking a girl to leave with him, im not positive. he knows ive got a lot of shit going on and that i dont trust anyone, so im really at a loss. he said a bunch of stuff to me yesterday during that talk telling me how much he liked me, that he was pissed his phone got taken away cause that meant he couldnt talk to me til ten when he got out of work, he drove back to the school after school to see me yesterday and just all this stuff. your opinion?
Please answer, i dont have much people to talk to about this and your answers really do help
well thats what i wanted to know, i dont have my virginity haha. Btw dont tell me to shut up, who the hell are you asshole
6 comments
Comment by QUEEN TAKILEONIA NEOSHIA on 09/30/2011 at 5:30 am
gurl shut up
Comment by confused on 09/30/2011 at 6:00 am
Hes a player. Dont fall into his trap. He probably did the same thing with the other girls. Save your virginity for marriage and do it with someone special. Hate to say it, but ur just going to be girl number 4 to him.
Comment by perfectvelvet on 09/30/2011 at 6:05 am
My opinion is you contact your doctor and ask for a referral to a licensed therapist. We’ve all been hurt before and sometimes we can pick ourselves up and move on, but sometimes we need to be strong enough to ask for help. I believe you’re at that point. You need to learn to trust again before you go overanalyzing a guy’s actions because that’s not what you need in your life; you need a person you can trust (a therapist) to talk to and gain insight into everything and help you move past it. Until you do that, you shouldn’t date because every relationship is going to be a disaster; relationships must be based in trust and honest, open communication. Until you trust, you can’t have a relationship.
Don’t try things with this guy, don’t worry about him right now. Go get help from someone who can help, and things will start looking up. Good luck.
Comment by phrozenwarrior on 09/30/2011 at 6:49 am
I know you probably typed that in a flurry, but try to add paragraphs so it’s a little more bearable to read @_@
Obviously I can’t understand your situation entirely, but I know and have seen a lot of ‘player’ status people, and from what I’ve seen they don’t change. Even my best friends manipulate girls like crazy, they say what you want to hear and normally know what it is. If they have a reputation for it I would highly suggest you don’t get involved…
I don’t get how some girls can go with a guy everyone knows is a player and think they’ll be the special one who changes them, because I’ve yet to see it happen. Not really sure what else to say :<
Comment by ang31eyes on 09/30/2011 at 7:40 am
Wow… sounds like quite the situation. I can see why you’d be wary to trust him, especially with his rep. But, at the same time… he was your friend before he started hitting on you right?
So here’s the run down on what I PERSONALLY think what’s going on in his head right now (i might be right i might be wrong…)…i think he developed genuine feelings for u and he doesnt know how to handle it because you ARE his friend and he KNOWS how he treats girls normally. I assume that he doesnt do all this stuff with the other notches in his belt. I say, don’t write him off completely because you never know…but i do highly recommend that you take things SUPER slow and MAKE SURE that he knows what the deal is.. don’t assume… make it clear. Because you don’t trust a lot of people he’s gonna have to realize sometimes you just wont be able to trust him and he has to accept that fact and help you work through your issues.
Sometimes, its the bad boys that make the best people to be with cuz when they find that one special girl, everything changes for the better. BUT just keep in the back of your head that he IS A PLAYER FOR A REASON.
Best of luck to you, you deserve the best
Comment by Serena on 09/30/2011 at 8:28 am
So you have trust issues, you have grown up to not know much love from family members. I’m sure you have from family but sounds like you haven’t much.
I can tell you what I have experienced in my life, with similar situation hoping that will help you. I also have trust issues, I know that giving everyone a chance isn’t true. You see what they do to others and they will definitely do to you. Just because they say a few words doesn’t mean they will treat you any different than any other person. Sure they say the sweetest things ever, I’m sure they told the previous person that which led them to being with him.
If you know that he is a jerk, he definitely going to be a jerk to you. He may be the type to just drop and go, move on to the next person. A person who can’t be without anyone. You see that he has already been through 3 girlfriends, now he’s looking at you. He knows you need attention, he knows he needs that minute person.
The trust issues can be a problem because you just don’t know when. I fell for it before, I regret falling for it because I am not with the person-that person who I knew dated many people before did same to me as he did to others. What I got out of it, depression, loneliness.
So I’m glad that you are hesitant about it, no one told me this before. Now no one wants to see anyone hurt. Hopefully this will help you.
Take care