Here’s the scenario.

A mother and father (never married) have one child together. The mom has sole custody because they were never married. About a year after they split up, the mom met someone new. They were dating for a while even though he lived about 1,500 miles away. He flew in to see her about every other week. This went on for months and months.

They were pretty crazy about each other, so they had to talk about what was going to happen, they wanted to live together. So, she flew out to his house to check it out. Everything was great, his house, the town, the local school. This man was perfect, he was a military man, then a cop and now a personal body guard. Everything checked out. Plus, he had a child too.

Now, since the father of her kid was an idiot (a drunk, he had just gotten his 2nd DUI) there wasn’t much he could do about her leaving.

So, the man flew in, they packed up a Uhaul and drove all the way to his house. Her daughter loved it, there was a room ready for her painted pink, she loved his horses and dogs. He was really good with her too (never overstepped any boundaries).

Just a couple days being there, she finds out …….. he’s married!!!!! His wife was staying with her mom. They were ‘separated’ but according to the wife, they were planning on reconciling.

So she immediately packed the Uhaul back up, put her daughter in the car and drove the 1,500 miles back home. Called school the next day to cancel the withdrawal (she went back and completed the grade just fine). And just tried to get things back to normal.

Fast forward a year later. The father of her child wants to file for custody and use that ^^ against her. He says “I’m going to tell them how you drug our kid out of school and half way across the country!!”.

She wont deny it was a bit irresponsible (perhaps blinded by lust?), but do you think this is something HUGE to be used against her?

my friend has lost her mind. she is bipolar and knows not to drink, it really messes with her. Her dad shot her mom about 3 years ago and she still lives with her father. I’m only a teenager, I do not know how to help her. She got drunk the other night with my neighbors and her boyfriend on 2 years whom she just had a miscarriage with 3 months ago broke up with her because she got drunk and cheated on him. Well while she was still drunk he told her that and then she proceeded to cut herself in my bathroom floor.. I didn’t think she was that bad.. she said hey i’m getting in the shower and didn’t come out for a good 45 minutes so i checked and there was blood everywhere, she had been digging at the marks she made on her arms with a fork she took from my neighbors kitchen.. Eventually we pretty much drag her into the car and she tells us as we’re on the way to the hospital she took half a bottle of tylenol 3′s she had left over from having her wisdom teeth cut out 3 weeks ago. SO they pumped her stomache at the hospital and put her in a psych ward for 6 days… She was released and said they just set her up for AA meetings. She went to AA once.. Then after a week got trashed and bought 25 nerve pills and supposedly did them and then smoked a joint all of this in her system at the same time with alcohol and her bipolar meds. We caught her with large ammounts of tylenol on her and she tried to sneak it into my neighbors house for some reason. It was just such an odd behavior, I went to get her to my house so her sister could talk to her, she dropped by to visit. Well, on the way out the neighbors door she just passed out and hit the floor, her sister took her to the store, she passed out getting out of the car. So we took her back to the hospital… They checked her heart rate and told us “Keep an eye on that.” And sent her home… I didn’t trust her to be here. When she got those tylenols and took them to the neighbors house, I took a 2 hour nap, that’s it. Two hours alone and she messes up… I can not help her. The regular hospital won’t take her. I signed her into a supposed long term care facility for SERIOUS psyciatric evaluations and some serious rehab. It’s for people who are depressed, suicidal, bipolar, or drug/alcohol addicted… SHE IS ALL OF THESE THINGS. She called me today to say she’d be out in a week. She may be lying, but still. WHAT am I going to do to be a friend and try to help her at this point, I feel I’ve ran out of choices here and I don’t know where else to turn to for someone to help her. She has major issues. She’s co-dependant and needs help so she can get over all of this and move on with her life, but when the people who are supposed to help don’t seem to want to help… What the heck do you do…???

My family lives a very stressful, chaotic life. my mom is a landlord or landlady and basically stays at home when no one has any complaints about the apartments. my dad has a bicycle shop business and it caught fire and burnt down a few months ago so now he just fixes things at the apartments if something happens. i have a 4.0, piano lessons, voice lessons, and i’ve finally realized that i have ednos or eating disorder not otherwise specified (which is basically anorexia, bulimia, and binge disorder all mixed into one). i have moderate depression and no one knows about my eating disorder. and my sister seems to be a little depressed as well (my parents tell us that they’ll only love us if we’re good and behave well)
my life is so chaotic right now, i just can’t deal with anymore! and i feel like nothing is going right and everythings just one big mess and to top things off, my mom has been losing money gambling and she tells us that she wins all the time and in denial of her addictio
She’s always asking to borrow money. Is angry and irritable when she loses. Tells us that shes somewhere else when shes really at the casino. She’s cold and distant. Shes always bragging about winning and being so lucky and gets mad when i confront her about her gambling. She has absolutely no hobbies but going to the casino, watching TV, and playing internet games. Gets really mad when I ask her where she is. She keeps telling me she has control and when she loses a certain amount of money she leaves the casino but i honestly really doubt that. it tearing our family apart even though we really weren’t close to begin with
She’s always asking to borrow money. Is angry and irritable when she loses. Tells us that shes somewhere else when shes really at the casino. She’s cold and distant. Shes always bragging about winning and being so lucky and gets mad when i confront her about her gambling. She has absolutely no hobbies but going to the casino, watching TV, and playing internet games. Gets really mad when I ask her where she is. She keeps telling me she has control and when she loses a certain amount of money she leaves the casino but i honestly really doubt that. it tearing our family apart even though we really weren’t close to begin with

I was reading in the news today that Facebook has become literally addicting for many people, young and old, that it’s starting to interfere with daily functioning.

There is now counseling and support groups to help those with specific addictions to Facebook.

How have we gotten to this point?

I am now 26, and I would like to remedy this to the best of my ability, if any of you are willing to help.
I have really bad dreams at night, I went on here and asked people and they all said those are known as “anxiety” or “insecurity” dreams. I already know that I am very insecure, as my fiance who loves me very much tells me that I am. I always feel inferior. I never knew why, I felt maybe because I was picked on growing up, that was why. But inside, I always knew why.

It’s because of my parents and how they raised me, especially my mom. I don’t want to blame them though, because I love them so much and I know they love me…but growing up, my parents were always working, they left me home alone at 7 years old to watch myself because they could not afford a babysitter (they had me when they were teenagers and moved out and as a result, we were low income.) I had no friends, no brother and sister (I am an only child.) I was not allowed to leave the house, so I was VERY sheltered. Never went anywhere.

My dad drank all the time and passed out on the floor. They always yelled at me for stupid stuff. They laughed at me when I cried. My mom would throw fits (I think she is bipolar) and sometimes she would say she wished she had an abortion. I also remember her breaking a couple of my toys because I got her mad…RIGHT IN FRONT of my own eyes. She still gets like this to this very day….to this day she still hurts me but I keep running back because I know when she isn’t angry, she actually is a good person, she does nice things. She defended me when I was mistreated by others. She took me shopping, she bought me things to make up for her anger. She became like a friend. She just goes back and forth like Jekyll and Hyde.

My dad recovered from alcoholism when I was a teenager, he shaped up and became a much better dad, but I had such hidden resentment built up that when he did want to do things for me and with me like a good dad does I shut him out for a very long time. My mom, I kept close but was scared also at the same time…my fiance helped me to stand up to her bc she was controlling my friendships and my relationship with my fiance, now she is a little more understanding and she likes my fiance but she still insults people and freaks out over the smallest things, and this is why I think she is bipolar.

Now that I have recognized the source of all this pain and insecurity, how can I release this and let it go? And how can I deal with my mom’s abusive ways now, since I am now an adult who is marrying my fiance and I don’t live with her and have to answer to her any more?

Someone very close to me seems to be drinking everyday. There have been alot of deaths in our family in the last year, and alot of stress. I have lived with an alcoholic father and brother-in-law, but I seem to have rose coloured glasses on when it comes to this person. Hew denies that is drinking all the time, but yet everyday, there is beer in the fridge…I know he is in denial but I do not know how to help him….

My wife lives a double life. About a year ago I caught my wife several times having sex with her family and other females and males, all I did was walk away in shock.I knew if I would approach them I would of done something I would regret and go to jail. I am totally blown away on what is going on. I told her about it and she got really upset and crazy and denied it ever happened. She is having a very difficult time dealing with the fact that I know this.
Every chance she gets she wants to see her father and family.
Her family has been sneaking in the house and hiding until I leave for work in the Morning. She also makes time in her work schedule to see them as well. her family and herself are very sneaky on how they get together. I also caught her doing cocaine. I reported it to the right sources and I hope one day she will get the help she needs but I doubt it. Her family knows that i know this info and they are scared about it. They are acting like nothing is wrong and my wife is pretending we are happily married. The only reason that I am around is because of my children and I do not want anything to happen to them. My wife and her family are doing everything they possibly can to get rid of me in anyway they can. I am a very strong person and I have no fear what so ever in doing what I feel is right. Am I doing the right thing!

Okay, Well I Am Me, I Don’t Believe In Labels, So I Will Not Label Myself. My Dad, Alcoholic, Racist, Over All Narrow Minded Has A Problem With My Style Of Clothing And Attitude. I Wear Black, Mostly And Listen To What Is Labeled By Him As ‘Gothic’ Or ‘Dark’ Music, Have An Authority He Claims The Cause Is ‘This Lifestyle’ So He Assume I Am What He Believes To Be What He Calls A ‘Goth’, Yet I Find This Offense And Ignorance. Apparently Being Who I Am By Him Is Consider By Him Just A ‘Stage’, This As Readers Of This Could Imagine Causes Conflict. So My Underlying Question Why Does He Thinks This Way, The Media, His Upbringing, What? I Really Would Just Enjoy Other People Opinions On This, So Perhaps It Won’t Get Worse To The Point Of Family Therapy, I Don’t Want That…..

Ok, so here’s the thing: my mom has her top teeth missing and bottom are rotted. Growing up, she told me that its cause her ex bfs back in the day would hit her. I love my mom so i didnt question it, but lately im wondering. You see, my mom has a sketchy past. Back in the 70′s, my grandmother died(mom was 17/18), and then my mom got pregnant with my first sister. In 1982, had another and then 1990 me. She told me that she used to smoke pot, do things she “didnt like”, cause my sister and her had to eat and not go on the streets. She told me that she even used to sort, but she stopped. I have a hard time believing that there isnt more because her and my sisters waited until i was 15 to tell me that my dad tried to mollest my sisters when i was a baby and they were younger. I felt like shit man. So, is it possible that my mom is lying about her bfs knocking them out and that the missing teeth and rotting are from meth use?
Snort**. As in powdered drugs.
Snort**. As in powdered drugs.

I committed a DUI this past spring and I was wondering, how do you get to where you can go talk to schools (jr high and sr high) about what you did? I want to make a difference and let kids know how easy it is to get into a world of trouble without realizing what you are doing. I want them to know how dangerous it really is and how it effects everyone. How do I get a school to let me come speak? I am 23 so I think I would be a good example since I am not too old to where they see me as someone like their mom or dad and think I don’t know what they are going through and being confronted with.

I’ve always had depression and anger issues and and a gradually increasing OCD issue.
I’ve gone to many therapists and psychiatrists and been on many medications and been hospitalized and I still don’t understand why no one can tell me what condition I have. I am almost 18 and have been seeing therapists since I was 4.

I have been diagnosed with:
Borderline Personality Disorder
ADHD
Clinical Depression/Manic-Depressive Disorder
Schizophrenia
Bipolar Disorder
Night Terrors
Insomnia
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

I honestly think that’s almost the whole list of psychological disorders.

I don’t really understand why I have to be told what I’m feeling but after so many diagnosis’ I am naturally going to be curious.

I self-mutilated from 7th-11th grade on my arms and hands and was further hospitalized multiple times. I had overdosed three times and had tried to bleed out twice. I have restrained myself for quite some time and still hope to stay that way but there’s always a fear that it is only hidden, not cured.

I have always been naturally very smart and ahead of others in knowledge but always felt the lack of needing to impress others around me so school work was mainly average.
My father was and still currently is an alcoholic and I always stood up for both myself and my mother and I’ve always been naturally attached to animals spiritually and too emotionally and have lost a lot of that love in the past. I am adopted and always felt detached from my adoptive family and had learned later that I have an additional 3 brothers and 2 sisters, a meth-addicted biological mother, and a father that was in and out of jail. So I believe I’m lucky to be with a family who can at least support me.

For examples, I have been prescribed Trazodone, Prozac, Sertraline and a few others which I can’t really remember or pronounce all too well.

I hope that in some way you can help me with what could be a hidden issue or a condition that would make more sense or a new idea to help with any condition I might have. Thank you for reading this if you have gotten this far, I’m sorry it was so long.
And I have always felt an overwhelming thought that there is just something different or unknown about me, I can’t really explain it in any real form — in person or in literature. I write poetry and play music to inspire myself to open up but the words never sound right or simple enough to tell what I really mean. I feel like I’m put here for a real purpose; a very important purpose. But how would I even begin to understand it at all? That’s what nags at me constantly.

Today my parents confronted me about me using drugs. I’m 14, and i don’t. They think that I am using hard drugs such as cocaine and ecstasy. My dad says that he was suspicious for a while of me using some sort of “upper” drug such as coke or ecstasy. Yesterday I got really bored in the house, so i wanted to get out, so i went for a walk. I was with my dad for a moment and I said hi to a couple of my friends, who happen to look slightly sketchy. He told me today that when i came home my eyes looked kind of “glassy”. Early last month i tried marijuana, a little, i haven’t smoked it since. He certainly didn’t notice. On the weekend i regularly drink, and i think this is where he gets his suspicion. He honestly thinks that i do hard drugs and he has made my curfew has been reduced by an hour. That in my mind is not the problem, the problem is that my own parents don’t trust me and think wrongly of me, which hurts terribly on the inside and i can hardly resist tearing up even writing this. I offered to take a drug test and everything, but they wouldn’t let me. They say they don’t need an expensive test to prove what they know. In my mind i have these choices.
1. Deny everything, and live by their new rules.
2. Admit the truth, that i drink and tried smoking, but that’s it, and see what happens from there.
3. Continue to deny everything, but act less suspicious, stop drinking, stop partying, come home on time all the time.
4. Admit to something i didn’t do and live by there new rules.
any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I have a little girl that is six years old. Me and her father have been split up for 2 years now. He’s been paying child support for a couple of months and gets her once or twice a month. A couple of years ago My daughter stayed the night at my parents house when she was 4 and there was also a 3 year old little boy that was staying the night.While my parents and the little boys Father was asleep he told my daughter to pull her pants down and he put some kind of toy on her private part. The next day she came home and that night She was using the bathroom there was a little blood and it hurt her when she peed. She then told me what the little boy did and I rushed her to the hospital. The doctor said she wasn’t damaged in any kind of way but she had a UTI. Anyways, it’s 2 years later and the Little boy or the father isn’t at my dad’s house any longer. My Dad’s wife just left him and he’s disabled and can’t get out of the house. Me and my daughter was going to visit him today since he could really use some company. My little girl’s father can’t stand my dad since that happen in his home so he doesn’t want his daughter in his house ever again. He found out I was going to visit with her and he unplugged something on my car so I couldn’t leave. I didn’t find out until later last night because I ended up staying at home all day because I didn’t want him to start something with my disabled dad. Okay so the question is should I press charges on him? Would it be worth my time? He said he will get away with it because I have no proof. Am in the wrong for taking my daughter to visit my dad’s house with me being there? I haven’t let her stay the night since then and won’t ever just because what happen but I am not leaving her there at all. The Father of my child says that if I take her there I will regret it he will call DHS on me and something really bad will happen. Is there really anything he can do? Am I in the wrong? I am a great mom and I pretty much raise my child by my self. She means the world to me! He drinks and has a lot of charges on his record in the past such as DUI and shooting into a dwelling and many more He’s crazy! Please give me your opinions. Thanks

The leading ‘Ulama of Ahl al-Sunnah have declared all hadith praising Mu’awiya as fabricated.

Al Hafidh Jalaluddeen Suyuti in “La’ali al-Masnu`aa fi ahadith al-Maudu`aa” Volume 1 page 424 states:

“Imam Hakim claims that he never came across a single hadith in praise of Mu’awiya that was Sahih”.

Muhammad bin Ali bin Shawkani in “Fawa’id al Mujmu`a fi bay`an al-hadith al-maudu`a”, page 147 states that:

“Ibn Hibban commented that all ahadith in praise of Mu’awiya are fabricated”.

Al Muhaddith Shaykh Abdul Haqq Dehlavi in “Sharh Mishkat Shareef” – Volume 4 page 716 (published in 1873) after citing the hadith in praise of Mu’awiya including the “guidance hadith” Abu Sulaiman cited from Tirmidhi comments:

“It is recorded in Jami` al-’Usul that many muhaddith scholars have concluded that there exists not even a single hadith in praise of Mu’awiya that is Sahih”.

Abu’l Hasan Quinani in “Thunziyaa as Shari’a al Murfoo’a”, Volume 2, Chapter 8 page 7 comments

“Imam Hakim cites from a chain used by Sibt Ibne Jauzi who cites Isaan bin Ruhiyaa that ‘there exists nothing in praise of Mu’awiya that is Sahih”.

Allamah Ibn al-Jawzi al-Qurashi in “al- Mawdu`at” Volume 2 page 24 states:

“Imam Hakim narrated from Abu’l `Abbas who heard from his father, who heard from Ishaq bin Ibraheem al-Hanzali that ‘no hadith in praise of Mu’awiya are Sahih’.

Shaykh Ismail bin Muhammad in “Kashful Khafa” Volume 2 page 420 states:

‘There exist no hadith in praise of Mu’awiya that is Sahih’”
______________________

EVEN IBN TAHMIYAH SAID IT

Ibn Taymiyya in Minhaj al Sunnah page 207

“One party has created virtues of Mu’awiya and these virtues have been presented as these hadith and all of these are lies”.
these wahabis really cross their limit to show love to yazid(l) and muawiyah(l)

I wonder where they all disappeared, cause they all came out out to give star to anotherside……
@anotherside- Minhaj al Sunnah? unknown book?
think twice

don’t you guys say that Ibn Tamiyah is your so called shayk-ul-Islam?
@anotherside- I am just showing what sunni ulemas say about muawiya, and trying to show the truth to sunnis who are falling into wahabi propaganda.

I have lost over 30 pounds since December. I just didn’t like the way I looked and wanted to get into shape. I’m actually extremely happy with the weight i’m at now, and think I just need to gain about 5 pounds of muscle. I told my parents that I would be happy to gain weight, if they would work with me. I asked them to buy things like chicken breast, brown rice, and fruit; instead of ice cream, pudding, and poptarts like they usually do. I won’t eat much because all they bring home is junk. I also excercise alot, so that I don’t have to go home and to blow off steam.
When they aren’t home, I eat healthy balanced meals. For example, I had a vegan boca burger on a wheat bun with some lettuce on it for lunch today. But when they come home and try to force feed me, I get depressed and binge on the junk they buy, which is an extremely unhealthy approach to food.
Yesterday morning (on the way to my wisdom teeth surgery), my dad started screaming at me about how I only got hired at my job because my boss wants to get in my pants and said he was taking my car away unless I went to anorexia counseling.
My mom keeps force feeding me and insists that I will be too weak to do anything (which is bs, because I easily do 1.5 hours a day in the gym).
Tonight my mom brought home pudding, ice cream, pecan rolls, and “healthy choice” entrees yet again instead of the stuff I ask for. Then she started trying to force feed me and I refused, because it’s all processes junk. I’m nearly in tears at this point. They can’t get it through their heads that I will continue to refuse to eat the junk food they bring home. I want to gain weight through a healthy “whole foods” approach.
I’m currently 5’9″ and 107 pounds. I want to start gaining weight once I can eat again after this wisdom teeth surgery.
What can I do?!?
*Correction: I HAD a job. He was criticizing me for not taking the job he told me to take. Because the job I did have only had me work for one day, then the boss started hitting on me. So…I have no money either : (

the song isnt actually sung its an american masn doing a voice over, like he is reporting the news and at the end he says something like mary and i are now addicted to heroin.

My friend, who is 18, got pulled over the other night and got charged with a DUI. I was the passenger, and the cop said that he wouldn’t press any underage drinking charges on me. (Which is where i certainly lucked out.) ( i’m 17 )
We had been drinking, but we were definitely not drunk.
And yes, there were open containers in the car.
He didn’t test me, he just called my dad to pick me up.

i’m worried that it may not be the end of it?
Can they still press any charges, like when my name gets brought up in court?

i’m scared that something may affect the scholarship i worked so hard on getting : (

(PS- we certainly learned our lesson. Please no pep talks. i feel terrible as it is.)

(PSS- we live in Florida, if that clarifies anything)

I met this guy & we’re teammates in the call center we’re working for.He’s cute, charming,witty,funny,was a High School teacher,Computer Science grad,a musician(he’s a bass player)& a hopeless romantic.The prettiest girl in our team even had a crush on him(she told me that since we’re close friends).But then,i never expected that someone like him would show interest to a shy & simple girl like me.He was so friendly to me that he always wants to talk to me,very caring & sweet to me.I was even amazed that when we exchanged seats, he sat next to me.He’s great to talk to & he talks to me about his fave music,asked my birthdate,where i live,other basic info,my cell number & even asked me to be the lead vocalist for the band that he will be forming.He said that he was sure i was the right person since they heard me sang in our training class(we’re still on the 2nd week of our training) Now,i just couldn’t imagine that this guy would adore me! He made me feel like the most beautiful, interesting & admirable girl in the world. His friends would subtlety tease me whether i have a date & i said no and his friends would look at him. My other female friend whom i told bout this told me that this guy would steal glances at me.I felt that this is what i have been waiting for bec. i never had a boyfriend ever(I’m still 21; he’s 23 & single).
But there’s a big problem: He smokes & drinks. You may raise your eyebrows & say “So What?” well, it’s bec. i have had enough domestic abuse in my family bec. my dad had a smoking & drinking problem. I even live separately now from my dad after i graduated College coz i just couldn’t take all the garbage & wastedness that my dad becomes whenever he was drunk.He just can’t quit. The guilt,anger & shame over our situation was too much.Bec. of my dad’s alcoholism, my mom left us even when i was still 6 years old.But i still love my dad,he’s the sweetest guy when sober but very emotional & argumentative when drunk. So now, i am so so afraid that my history would repeat itself & this time i’m afraid it’s going to be my own family that someday i will have. I don’t want to be judgmental, i just can’t help being careful & wise before making any stupid decision that i would regret for the rest of my life. It really confuses me bec. i am starting to fall for this guy & would actually want to go out with him. But the relationship i want to build with him if ever he asks me out will be a serious one & that someone i would consider marrying. But now i am struggling with so much fear in my heart, it’s so hard trying to deny that i am starting to fall for him bec. i don’t want to get hurt & find out what if he is just like my father who cares about his drinking more than his family,wife & kids. Now, i can’t help imagining about my fears and future regrets in my mind & i picture myself ten years from now:a battered wife,haggardly taking care of her little kids & here’s this guy whom i fell in love comes home drunk every night & fights with me alot & that he’s jobless or couldn’t find a decent job & he had no money but has money for his drinking sprees. I know i am a bit overboard but for me love is a choice not just a feeling or else i would end up being the victim stuck in a dysfunctional family line the rest of my life.I prayed to God about this that He will lead me the right way. I badly need some good advice from you guys…i don’t want to make the same mistakes all over again that my parents did that they ended up separated,it really is not a happy thing…I want to love but i don’t want to risk if it’s not worth it in the first place…Your opinion is very much appreciated & will help me realize many things before its too late…tnx
pardon if my question is bit long.Btw,i will still observe and know how often he smokes and drinks and figure out if he’s addicted to it or not.:)

Sorry it’s long..

Case Study 3 – Paula Evans
Paula Evans is a 25 year old woman brought to the emergency room by her boyfriend, who has become progressively more alarmed at her complaints, demands, and errant behavior. Her chief complaint to the staff is “I keep thinking about wanting to kill myself.” Paula is a competent secretary, has her own apartment, and is self supporting. She is also attending university classes in the evening because she wants to advance her education and does not “want to stay a secretary all my life.”
The current crisis began when her boyfriend, Mark, refused to consider her demands for marriage after a 2 year exclusive relationship. Paula began to call him at work demanding more and more time, finally threatening to kill herself if he didn’t spend every evening with her. Mark reported that her demands, phone calls, and escalating threats were becoming intolerable and were making him want to break off the relationship entirely. On the evening Mark brought Paula to the emergency room, he had told her that he had to go on a business trip and would be away for several days. Paula insisted that he was doing this just to get away from her. She became severely agitated and began to talk wildly about killing herself. In the emergency room, Paula angrily belittles her boyfriend in front of the staff and accuses him of using and then rejecting her. After physically separating the arguing couple, the staff is able to obtain a history of the progressive development of Paula’s symptoms.
In response to the stress of the past several months, Paula has developed fluctuating depressive moods, a tendency to over sleep (especially sleeping in the evenings and on weekends), and a tendency to binge eat that has resulted in a 20 pound weight gain. Paula says she is constantly anxious and has been having increasing difficulty concentrating on her studies. She has continued to work throughout this stressful period, seeking support from those in her office. Attention from Mark or her co-workers produces a brightening of her mood that she is able to sustain while they are with her.
Paula experiences her most severe symptoms when she is alone. These include prolonged fantasies about hilling her boyfriend and a desire to hurt herself. She says that on several occasions she has cut her thighs with razor blades and describes watching herself do this as if from a distance, numb and dead inside and feeling little pain. Paula says that at these times she feels fat and unattractive as well as completely unlovable and worthless. At such moments, she calls Mark on the phone and threatens to commit suicide unless he comes and keeps her company. Mark reports that she has also begun to lose control of her temper. For example, shortly before he brought her to the emergency room, she attacked him with her fists in the midst of an argument.
Paula was the youngest of four children and one of two girls. Her parents separated and divorced when she was 3 years old because of her father’s alcoholism and physical abuse of his wife and children. A family secret was that Paula was sexually abused when she was 10 years old by a brother 5 years her senior.
In adolescence, Paula associated with a rebellious group and became involved in drug abuse and early sexuality to fit in. Paula said that her mother attributed Paula’s teenage rebellion to a need to “find a father” and that she thought that Paula had gotten “her sexual urges confused with wanting to be loved and cared for.” By age 16, Paula had already embarked on the pattern of chaotic unstable involvements with men that continues to characterize her adult life.
Her first drug overdose occurred at age 17 in response to a perceived rejection by her boyfriend. A series of intense relationships followed this incident, each of which followed a similar pattern: Paula would become progressively more clinging until she gradually alienated her partners. Each rejection was marked by a period of anger and self abuse, followed quickly by a new and identical relationship. Paula’s current boyfriend is only the latest in a long series of disappointing partners.