My boyfriend and I have been on and off for three years. I am 30, he is 33. He has a three year old son from a previous relationship. I am three months pregnant, and got to be part of the lucky 1% that gets pregnant while on the pill. (Note to those using the pill as their primary means of birth control: USE A CONDOM!!) Now, I have misgivings regarding whether or not I want this man in my life. I already wanted to end the relationship when I found out I was pregnant. I have seen his “parenting skills” firsthand with his son….I’ve seen him drunk while “taking care” of him…twice when his son got up, his father was hungover and slept until 2 or 3 in the afternoon, allowing me to get his little boy breakfast, change wet diapers, etc. He owes thousands of dollars in back child support…the list goes on. I don’t want my child to grow up with an unstable, alcoholic father. His whole family is the same. Is it wrong of me to decide I don’t want him in my child’s life?

hey…i was just wondering how much (and what) i need to drink to get just a little bit drunk. Its for purim (jewish holiday which requires people to drink until they don’t know the difference between good and bad), so i need to get a LITTLE drunk. this is the first year my parents are allowing me to join in with them. my dad said that i would probably only need 1 glass of wine to get tipsy cuz of my size (im 14, 5’3″, and 112 lbs.), so i just wanted to know how much i should be drinking, and what exactly? thanks!

I live with my daughter, Keeley, 6 in Devon. Her father, my ex husband, lives in London.

Every three weeks Keeley spends the weekend with her dad as part of a court order. The court order states he collects her from me in Devon and takes her back to London on the friday night. Then on the sunday night i drive for 5 hours to collect her from London and bring her home to Devon.

I was driving to collect her when my car broke down about an hour from my house. The AA recovered me and drove me back to my house. My car is a gonner.

I rang my ex and asked him to bring Keeley back because I had no car to do it and I cant afford the train fare.

He refused. He says he cant afford the petrol to drive the 240 mile journey. I don’t buy this. He is a network manager on London wages. I am a sales assistant and single mum of three.

If he doesn’t bring her back not only will Keeley miss school but she doesn’t have more than a weekend’s worth of clothes with her.

I am powerless because its not in the contract that he has to return her. I have to collect her. Not only that if he wanted he could drag me to London Court and get me in loads of trouble for not picking her up. (Trust me. He’s done it before. £250 fine because I was 8 hours late picking her up because my eldest daughter went into hospital after an asthma attack.)

So any ideas what I can/should do? All answers appreciated. Thanks.

My nephew was supported by the state from March 08 (when he was born) through December 08. His father signed his birth certificate but did not live with my sister or nephew the entire year. He did not pay any child support, either officially or unofficially. He never asked for an official order giving him custody rights and he never cared for the child unless my sister was there (they have had an on again off again relationship).

He claimed my nephew on his taxes and received close to $5000.

This does not seem legal or fair to me. Can anything be done, or since my sister didn’t claim him (she didn’t work in 08 and didn’t support my nephew more than 50% of 2009) does his father have a right to claim him?

I’m concerned he will do this again for the year of 2009. In 2009 he paid approximately $200 in child support and lived with my sister for less than 2 months (during which time they supported the child equally). Otherwise, part of the year my sister worked and part of the year she received support from the state to care for her son (she is a teenager and decided to finish h.s.). There just recently was finally an official order for child support entered. I guess I just don’t think it’s right he uses a son he has never cared for on his own, or financially supported, to get money. He used the money last year to buy a big screen TV, movies, make payments on old court fees (DUI, public intox, etc).

Thanks!

Before you bash me, hear me out. I want to do high school tennis, but I am nervous I will suck. I used to play until I was 12, and am 16 now. My dad played in high school, and was really good supposedly.

I need to get into shape. I swim too, so tennis will be my second sport. I am not out of shape, but running and swimming are two seperate concepts.

I was thinking I should be able to run 3-5 miles? I can run 1 mile right now, with no problems. Mile 2 my knee is killing me and I stop. Should I not risk injuring it and stick to two, or ice it and suck it up.

Do all those girls wear cute little tennis skirts? It is MAYBE 10 degrees… I am also wondering how we are going to practice with a foot of snow on the ground…

Should I lift weights? I can do about ten handstand pushups without dying. 30 sit ups, and 20 regular pushups. Where should I be?

Thanks! I really need to make varsity. My serve is good, I mean… It makes it in, and I have mediocre control of the ball.

As of today i have considered the pros and cons of my marriage with my husband. The fact that i considered leaving him shows we are most likely at our end. The thing is that im still on the fence because why i might leave….

I just celebrated my 5 year anniversary with my 31 year old husband (im 23). Our life is far from ideal but that was the least of my problems. Sitting with my 3 children trying to get on my feet i decided to look at what my life turned into.

I spend every waking hour either working or taking care of my children (I live with my mother right now since we lost our home a few months ago). Each week, my children and i see my husband for about 3-4 hours in total. During the rest of the time he hangs out with his buddy (where he is staying), drinking and getting stoned. Up until recently it bothered me a little bit but i never wanted to worry about it. My husband is bouncing from job to job, not wanting to get a solid, high paying job because he would have to cut his hair and conform to society. I just had started going back to school to get my AA in accounting. I begged him to go back to school. He is a big gamer and i thought that mixing his intelligence and his love for games would be most beneficial so being a game designer would be great. He doesnt want to. Now he is starting to comment about my weight and tells me that im too fat to be loved. He doesnt help with the house or the children and the more i ask him to be part of the family the more he spends time acting like a bachelor coming in and out of the house as he pleases.

My income is coming to an end but i can bounce back and get a decent paying job. So i am sitting here and thinking, i have this guy who is only making my life harder but i love him so much, so i am wondering, i am almost ready to move out…

Should i move out by myself and my children or have him move with us. As i said i love him and my kids love him, i have put 7 years of my life into our relationship. He is a good father to them when he IS actually around so i dont want to take him away from them. BUT i dont think i want to continue living from day to day having the extra drama in my life.

I need some opinions. Please put yourself in my shoes and tell me what you would do…Stay with him or just cut my losses.
For UM…I have talked to him, shortly after my twins were born i tried to talk to him. I begged him to make something of himself. I admit i was stupid for being so young when i got married but i was heading for the army and we were madly in love. Irrational past doesnt make up for now but i have tried and tried again with him. I left him back in 2006 before i got pregnant with my son to make a point and for a bit he changed but he went back to his old self and now is worse

I am a decent guy. At least I’ve tried my best to do my best at everything I’ve ever pursued. I’m told I’m handsome and I don’t think I’m too bad….I have a bachelor’s degree in Finance, I have a good job, I’m muscular, I stay in shape, I’m a caring lover (physically) and try to be emotionally…….There’s one problem, I’m an alcoholic. I don’t drink but I used to and I started getting underage drinking arrests when I was only 16. I’ve had a long list of drunken arrests. My father was abusive and I started to drink at the age of 14 to cover the pain. I went to jail for 45 days and did 90 on house arrest for a second dui. I’ve cleaned up my act and really want to meet and date a nice girl. I don’t care if she wants to stay a virgin until we got married. That’s the type of girl I would want to marry. Don’t get me wrong sex is great but there are other things two people can do that are close to as satisfying…..if you know what I mean…. I’ve had relationships with girls and either pushed them away through partying or they were scared off by my past when they got to know me well enough to find out about it…….This causes me to feel like I can’t reveal anything about my past and it causes me to feel like I have to put on some act like I’m just this perfect guy…….this has made it extremely difficult to let someone in and love them an let them love me back. By the time I do and the relationship ends I’m so distraught because I have to start putting on an act again. I really feel hopeless right now. How can I let a female in?, especially one that has good morals and is tied close to her family without scaring her away?

Or is it as hopeless as I feel it is and I should just settle for some girl with an abusive, alcoholic father so she won’t judge and leave me?

I haven’t spoken to mother in over a year. She’s been an alcoholic for the past 13 years and I just couldn’t take it anymore. She was a wonderful mother when I was a kid but after she divorced my dad everything went downhill. She moved me from place to place and had many live in boyfriends. She would get drunk and threaten to kill family members, even going after my grandpa with a gun! I basically raised myself from the age of 13 with help from my dad and grandma during the weekends. I became pregnant at 17 and ran away from home because I feared she would hurt me and the baby while drinking. When she came to pick me up at the police station she was drunk! So they gave custody to my aunt until I turned 18 a few months later. The list just goes on and on. Now that I’m adult I refuse to put up with it. She’s always leaving me drunk messages and calling me every name in the book. Then the next day she thinks its all fine because she doesn’t remember anything. This has led to me giving up on a relationship with her. My kids ask about her sometimes and I dont want to keep them away from her. She’s been threatening to go after me for ‘grandparent rights’. I wrote about her legal issues just to show a judge would never give her visitation. There are a few good qualities about her and my kids have memories with her. Just not many since she can’t stay sober more than a week. I’ve tried getting her to get help but she doesn’t think she has a real problem since she doesn’t drink everyday. She was even court ordered to attend AA meeting and she didn’t so her license was suspended. As long as she isnt drinking I dont mind her visiting the kids or talking on the phone for a few minutes. I’m just tired of being mad, tired of all the anger I have for her. When she is dead and gone I’m afraid I will regret this time that I ignored her but I really dont know what else to do. Sorry this was so long…..any advice??

Mine’s scotch whiskey. Not sure why, I guess because my father always drank it.

Thanks! Ten points to whoever decides to be creative and describe the taste of your favorite as well.

My husband and I have found the entire ordeal with Family Court in California to be so irrationally biased towards women (his ex wife) and against men/fathers. Has anyone else had an experience like this going through Family Court with a divorce and custody/child support battle? My husband was the devoted loving father most kids dream about, while the mother is a Borderline cruel psycho who has a new drug conviction, she plea bargained down to a misdemeanor, a DUI, and only wants the daughter with her so my ex has to pay her high child support. The court awarded HER full custody and won’t even read my husband’s responses as to why he would be the better parent. (My husband is a retired Navy Officer, now has been on his current job 14 yrs, we have a stable home).
Has anyone had such an unjust ruling in Family Court? The daughter now says she hates my husband and never wants to see her dad again. It’s tearing us (me esp) up. Do courts often give a child to the wrong parent?
How do I get over this? I hardly know anyone here and feel so alone. The unjust decisions by this judge in family court who dislikes men is ripping my husband apart, and thus me. We also have to pay so much in child support that it could give us a mortgage on a nice house….This is destroying our dreams of our own home and so much we had planned for the future, and has broken my husband’s heart because the ex wife has poisoned the daughter to hate him so much, she doesn’t care if he dies. She’s almost 15 and I think she’s cruel, even if she is being influenced by her mom. Don’t you think at 15 a girl shouldn’t throw her father in the garbage who has been the only one for her her entire life?? He paid everything plus gave unconditional love. Please help!
HOW DO I GET OVER THIS???

I am so tired and fed up with my Mom’s drinking. I can never have a normal conversation with her because I can tell she had been drinking and she slurs her words and has the hickups all the time and it’s soo annoying and I get very frusterated and very upset. You can also tell by her eyes and how she walks. She leaves a disasterous mess in the kitchen when she’s drunk and passes out in the living room. I hate it. We’ve tried everything to help. She even has 2 DUI’s and is going to AA and anger management. This obviously does not help because I still find bottles hiding. She keeps denying she’s drunk and it makes me even more mad!! My Dad won’t pay for her to go to a rehab because it’s too expensive and plus she won’t go either. What can I do in the meantime to not get so upset with her messyness, angryness, alcoholism…how can I avoid her when she’s like this because I am so tired of it. I don’t have enough money yet to move out. My Dad gives her everything she wants…I’m sick of it.

I’m an 8th grader and next year is my freshman year, the high school I’m going to go to is just right around the corner from my house. But this year has freakin sucked because people have been hating on me like really bad lately. My dad tells me they will grow up in high school and I will have more friends and everything will get better. But for were I’m at, I don’t know if it will, so please just help me by telling me this; is high school going to be different? Thanks guys. (:

Mine’s scotch whiskey. Not sure why, I guess because my father always drank it.

Thanks! Ten points to whoever decides to be creative and describe the taste of your favorite as well.

My mom is 38 and has 3 kids, im the eldest. and the youngest is 6.
My aunt also lives with us not my dad. And my aunt is in her 20′s, But my mom goes out every week and drinks when she isn’t going out.
I have no problem when she goes out, everyone has to have a social life, But i think its getting to the point of extreme, i went out yesterday at 0 in the mrongin and came back at 6, and no one was home. i rang my mom and she said shell be home in an hour, she didnt come home till half 3 in the morning.!, and the following week she didnt ocme back home till half ten in the morning. And then she sleeps all day. I know she works hard Monday to Friday but she has kids to take care of, shes not a teen any more, i feel like she is drinking way to much and always partying. I dont know what to do. Should i speak to her.? or am i over reacting. I want to have a life too, not take care of my brother and sister.while my mom is out drinking. I kind of worried.
I’m not American

My husband and I have found the entire ordeal with Family Court in California to be so irrationally biased towards women (his ex wife) and against men/fathers. Has anyone else had an experience like this going through Family Court with a divorce and custody/child support battle? My husband was the devoted loving father most kids dream about, while the mother is a Borderline cruel psycho who has a new drug conviction, she plea bargained down to a misdemeanor, a DUI, and only wants the daughter with her so my ex has to pay her high child support. The court awarded HER full custody and won’t even read my husband’s responses as to why he would be the better parent. (My husband is a retired Navy Officer, now has been on his current job 14 yrs, we have a stable home).
Has anyone had such an unjust ruling in Family Court? The daughter now says she hates my husband and never wants to see her dad again. It’s tearing us (me esp) up. Do courts often give a child to the wrong parent?
I hardly know anyone here and feel so alone. The unjust decisions by this judge in family court who dislikes men is ripping my husband apart, and thus me. We also have to pay so much in child support that it could give us a mortgage on a nice house….This is destroying our dreams of our own home and so much we had planned for the future, and has broken my husband’s heart because the ex wife has poisoned the daughter to hate him so much, she doesn’t care if he dies. She’s almost 15 and I think she’s cruel, even if she is being influenced by her mom. Don’t you think at 15 a girl shouldn’t throw her father in the garbage who has been the only one for her her entire life?? He paid everything plus gave unconditional love. Please help!
HOW DO I GET OVER THIS???

I’m 16 years old and all my life I have been abused my mom, I’ve been hit, threatened, told im worthless ect and have had a knife held up to my neck ect, it has made me nervous of her but it’s getting worse she is now becoming depressive she twists my words to her friends and my friends parents ect saying that im abusive, which is not true, im aa patient and caring person i never get angry at people and i put everyone else before myself, she says that I want her dead which really hurts i love her so much despite everything, my dad will back me up on this, my dad and i have tried everything we’ve tried talking to her about the situation and how we cant go on like this ect, social services have been involved 3 times this year police came with social services to talk to me after my shrink (im recovering from 8 years of anorexia) found out and was nearly sent to foster care, but i was too scared what would happen to my mom, it is now that i realise that my mom needs serious help especially since she told me she didn’t want to be alive! I cant deal with this im doin A levels this year and trying to recover from anorexia (which she blames herself for)
It would only be tempory maybe as little as a few weeks to get herself into therapy, of course i will support her ect.
the thing is how does it work?
will my age and eating disorder make it harder?
I also have a heart problem from my anorexia what do i do?
thanks and sorry its so long =/

also what do you think of the situation? would me being in foster care help?

My sons dad and I were never married. We separated almost a year ago. He is an alcoholic and has lost everything. He doesn’t even have a home. He hasn’t seen his son regularly for about 2 months. He recently decided that he wants to move back to his home town which is 1500 miles away. How do I break the news to my son? Is he going to understand? How do i keep him from having abandonment issues? I am not sure if his dad will keep contact because he hasn’t done that well when he is in town. Any ideas?

ok here is a long story short~~
my ex of 4 long yrs keeps coming over when ever he wants to, call me all the time, texts me all day long and wont leave me be. all he say is that he is sorry and want to work it out but there is nothing to work out. he dose not work smokes weed and drinks to much. i almost called CPS becasue they smoke with his kid there> his son is only 9.

we broke up almost a month ago, i stopped careing for him 6 months ago.

my daughter dad is back in our lives now and will be moving down here when he can next summer, i know that he will make him leave me be but what do i do util then?

should i get a Restraining order or what?

my father was very abusive when I was a kid. I didn’t meet him until I was 10 and things were never good. I went back and forth from group home and back with him. I tried to live on my own for a while and then was kicked out at 18.

He spoke nasty about sex and cursed when I was young. He was physically and mentally abusive.

18 years later he says he wants to know me again. When I ask for an apology for his behavior he will not offer it.

I really don’t think it will work out. He had a profound effect on my life and I was alone( mom died I was 8 yrs old). I have a hard time believing he won’t say stupid stuff and embarrass or alienate people from my life.

Has anyone out there ever experienced a parent turn themselves around?

He was not under the influence of alcohol or drugs most of the time but he was an alcoholic in AA. So most of what I experienced can not be blamed on intoxication.

My husband’s nephew is 17. 2 months ago my estranged sister in law asked us to help her younger son by taking him in… The boy had been in trouble with the law (supposedly unjustly harassed by a small town sheriff). After much thought and countless phone calls by my sister in law and father in-law begging us to help, we agreed to take him in. To be quite honest, I barely know him… I do know that his mother and father had been until recently, crack addicts. After rehab, the parents are no longer using crack, but they still drink heavely and are medicated for a number of “pain issues”. I thought I would give this boy a chance by taking him in. I have a wonderful son that is 18, and a daughter that is 20 both very responsible, good people and NOT addicts. Since he moved in, I have learned of a few inccidents that my nephew was involved with that scare me to death: He was with his best friend the night he died in a fire. My nephew walked home in the middle of the night and supposedely, he felt the urge to leave his friends house minutes before the fire broke out that ultimately killed his best friend. My sister in law claims it was a “miracle” he walked home at 3;00 am… since my nephew hates to walk, and a “miracle” he had left minutes before the fire. Later he framed his other friend during a DUI incident and his friend was only cleared after reviewing the Patrol’s camera. Last week he told my son about an older teacher he hated. He said that he went to her house in the middle of the night and banged on her door to scare her… the lady had a heart attack and died a week later… When I asked him about it, he said:” the old bitch was gonna die anyways… I think she was like 76 years old”. He drinks a lot, and loves to take pain killers. He has been very good since he came but has told me that he wants to move out so he can get “hammered”. I do not trust him. I KNOW that his parents have been just disgusting in their behaviour, and I know that he is very affected by this, but I also think that my sister in law hid a lot of information that would have deterred me from taking him in. He is so detached from feeling empathy for others, and he claims he only cares for “# 1″ , he is highly intelligent but seems unable to connect the dots between his behaviour and the last 3 years of troubles with the law. He escaped jail 2 months ago because he agreed to move across country to our home. I am scared. I think there is too many signs that may have been overlooked because of his young age. In my gut, I feel that he may have started that fire… What should I do?